Creative Commons Photo Credit by roeyahram
There’s a lot of times in life that you have the chance to say something you want to say, but don’t say it because you don’t want to go into the details. It becomes tiring and drawn out or maybe even for a different reason. Here are just some examples where you might not say what you want to say…
“How are you doing?” Reply: “Doing great man!”
I know I have dodged this question at some point before. Actually, this is probably the one I commit the most.
This can be said after you have a fight with your spouse…on the way to church, you didn’t have time to eat breakfast and you are just plain grumpy, the kids are sick, no Thanksgiving Day turkey because it caught on fire, no money in the bank account, the car broke down and you lost your wallet. That’s probably a little over the top, but sometimes it’s just too hard to be totally open and honest sometimes, huh?
“Do you want to hang out soon?” Reply: “Yes, we should get together for coffee soon!” (Do you like all of my exclamation marks!?)
This reply usually happens when you want to, but have no idea how to work it in your busy schedule. So, it never ends up happening, because you don’t put it in your calendar at that moment.
“Will you pray for me?” Reply: ” Yes, I will remember you in my prayers!!!”
This one is for my church-going readers. How many times has this happened to you?… I know that three people asked me to pray for them today, but I can’t remember who… Stopping then and there and praying for them is usually the thing to do in that moment and we know it, but just don’t make the time.
And the list goes on and on.
Whatever the case may be, being open and honest in a graceful way is the direction to go. Always. Again, vulnerability shows the real you and people want the real you.
So, here is your chance to be open and honest. Which one of these questions have you fibbed on recently? You can leave a comment below.
Someone asked me how I was and I said “groovy” (yes, I’m old) and she said, “well, I’m hanging on by a thread.” I replied, “me, too.” That, my son, is the condition of many at any given time. Thanks for keeping it real.
🙂
Someone asked me how I was and I said “groovy” (yes, I’m old) and she said, “well, I’m hanging on by a thread.” I replied, “me, too.” That, my son, is the condition of many at any given time. Thanks for keeping it real.
🙂
Adam, I NEVER use any of those outs! 🙂
Actually, I caught myself saying, “I’ll pray for you!” and then realized that I never would. Oh pharisee that I am! Now, I don’t say it unless I mean it. It’s a step. It’s a start.
haha
Adam, I NEVER use any of those outs! 🙂
Actually, I caught myself saying, “I’ll pray for you!” and then realized that I never would. Oh pharisee that I am! Now, I don’t say it unless I mean it. It’s a step. It’s a start.
haha
I’m guilty of providing the typical “I’m doing good. How are you?” response. I’ve really made a conscious effort not to say “Let’s hang out” unless I’m going to follow through. Its’ really frustrating when someone says it to me but doesn’t make an effort.
yes it is 🙂
I’m guilty of providing the typical “I’m doing good. How are you?” response. I’ve really made a conscious effort not to say “Let’s hang out” unless I’m going to follow through. Its’ really frustrating when someone says it to me but doesn’t make an effort.
yes it is 🙂
I am so guilty of so many of these. I’ve got some serious work to do.
haha. don’t we all
I am so guilty of so many of these. I’ve got some serious work to do.
haha. don’t we all
I can relate to this topic. A guy started approaching me during periodic training meetings saying that he wanted to get together with me and a few guys and have dinner and drinks.” I thought, and said, “That sounds cool. Looking forward to it.” Months went by and almost every time we would pass each he would bring it up, “We will get together soon for those drinks.” After about 4 or 5 additional times, which seemed like 77 times 77 times in total, he said it again, “Hey Mike. We’re gonna get together real, real soon and have that drink.” Now, I would not have felt bad if it was I that approached him but it was he that approached me. I don’t speak my mind because I can be brutal to which I wanted to ask him, “Why do you keep walking up to me and saying these things? I never asked you to do this. Why?” Knowing that if I did so that THAT would kill his spirit I said, “Ok. Looking forward to it.”
haha. that’s crazy man… I don’t know why people feel the need to say those things
I think it has something to do with the term “rescuing dogs syndrome” and ego. I am guilty of this too, but I started thinking about what I say at impulse and boosting my own ego vs answering without thought or desperation.
A technique that I’ve learned works well for this is to say, “cool, when would work for you?” This takes the nice sentiment and turns it into a plan that actually has a chance of happening.
Thank you Andrew. However, we fell out of touch and divorced his wife: some sort of big time talk show offered to him. Your suggestion was greatly appreciated sir. Thanks again.
I can relate to this topic. A guy started approaching me during periodic training meetings saying that he wanted to get together with me and a few guys and have dinner and drinks.” I thought, and said, “That sounds cool. Looking forward to it.” Months went by and almost every time we would pass each he would bring it up, “We will get together soon for those drinks.” After about 4 or 5 additional times, which seemed like 77 times 77 times in total, he said it again, “Hey Mike. We’re gonna get together real, real soon and have that drink.” Now, I would not have felt bad if it was I that approached him but it was he that approached me. I don’t speak my mind because I can be brutal to which I wanted to ask him, “Why do you keep walking up to me and saying these things? I never asked you to do this. Why?” Knowing that if I did so that THAT would kill his spirit I said, “Ok. Looking forward to it.”
haha. that’s crazy man… I don’t know why people feel the need to say those things
I think it has something to do with the term “rescuing dogs syndrome” and ego. I am guilty of this too, but I started thinking about what I say at impulse and boosting my own ego vs answering without thought or desperation.
A technique that I’ve learned works well for this is to say, “cool, when would work for you?” This takes the nice sentiment and turns it into a plan that actually has a chance of happening.
Thank you Andrew. However, we fell out of touch and divorced his wife: some sort of big time talk show offered to him. Your suggestion was greatly appreciated sir. Thanks again.
Oh how I love this. I wrote out this nice thought out comment, then “post as” and signed in there, and it deleted it all. Blah. (haha)
To summarize…I don’t actually fib about any of those questions much. I know what it’s like to be on the other end of the pleasantries. Some real life examples…
When asked the “How are you doing?” question – here lately, you might be met with, “Struggling right now actually” or “Don’t ask questions you don’t have the time or energy to listen to!” or one other unsuspecting victim got this “truth be told, I’m not okay right now – but I know I will be again.” Life is too short to be skin deep.
When the “let’s get together sometime soon” came up just recently, my response was “Great idea! How ’bout we go to Starbucks after dropping the kids off on Thursday?” – that may have been a bit self-serving, as I love Starbucks. However, it’s all about being intentional.
With regards to the “Will you pray for me” question – as a Christian, it’s an honor to be trusted with this one. However, I do not leave it at that. I make it a point to care enough to follow up. It’s all about being intentional. I know that I am actually facing some unsure times right now and at times feel as if my heart is breaking, and don’t always know how to handle it…but, have also learned the value of prayer….and reaching out and actually also asking for it. It makes a difference. As such, it is one of my goals in life to let people know they are not alone in their struggles, and that there is hope. God created us as community people, and to walk in that is not only a necessity, but also a blessing.
awesome stuff
Oh how I love this. I wrote out this nice thought out comment, then “post as” and signed in there, and it deleted it all. Blah. (haha)
To summarize…I don’t actually fib about any of those questions much. I know what it’s like to be on the other end of the pleasantries. Some real life examples…
When asked the “How are you doing?” question – here lately, you might be met with, “Struggling right now actually” or “Don’t ask questions you don’t have the time or energy to listen to!” or one other unsuspecting victim got this “truth be told, I’m not okay right now – but I know I will be again.” Life is too short to be skin deep.
When the “let’s get together sometime soon” came up just recently, my response was “Great idea! How ’bout we go to Starbucks after dropping the kids off on Thursday?” – that may have been a bit self-serving, as I love Starbucks. However, it’s all about being intentional.
With regards to the “Will you pray for me” question – as a Christian, it’s an honor to be trusted with this one. However, I do not leave it at that. I make it a point to care enough to follow up. It’s all about being intentional. I know that I am actually facing some unsure times right now and at times feel as if my heart is breaking, and don’t always know how to handle it…but, have also learned the value of prayer….and reaching out and actually also asking for it. It makes a difference. As such, it is one of my goals in life to let people know they are not alone in their struggles, and that there is hope. God created us as community people, and to walk in that is not only a necessity, but also a blessing.
awesome stuff