Lately, I am finding myself wishing I was doing things that I’m not currently making enough time for, writing being one of them. So here I am, showing up, wanting to share some things that have been on my mind.
- Stop beating yourself up.
I admire what Seth Godin does with writing every day, but as my kids get older, I find myself finding more important things to do. Or maybe I make things more difficult than they need to be? Although writing seems like it should be a top 10 priority, I end up filling my time with other things. I could easily beat myself up over it. I mean, I used to write everyday, yet I don’t anymore. Does that mean I’m not doing my best? No, it just means that life is different. I’m raising 3 humans, and that’s a tough job. If you’re a parent or in a relationship, those things deserve your time and attention. So if there are things you think you should be doing and aren’t quite yet, that’s ok. You’re busy, but also, it’s never too late to start again on that beneficial thing you used to do but don’t anymore. - Be a good friend.
To be honest, there are multiple times over the past year where I haven’t been what you would call a good friend. There are times I didn’t call, or times where I didn’t communicate when I should have, or times where I could have been friendlier. So where’s the lesson here? It’s never a bad thing to care more. Caring is actually the one thing that repeatedly comes up in conversation that is the real difference maker in life. And this advice here is for me. In fact, I have found that anything I write is more advice for me to hear and act on than anyone else. - Problems seem bigger when you’re focused on you.
Ever notice how life becomes almost overwhelming at times when you only focus on yourself? That’s the problem with self-help. It’s a never ending race to the top…or something like that. And I can guarantee I’m probably the only self-help author that will say that. The key is to focus on helping others, and maybe you’ll find something out about yourself along the way. Servant leadership isn’t just a saying, it’s more a way of life. Oh, and peace comes in finding fulfillment and purpose, not happiness. Just saying… - “If you live for their acceptance, you’ll die from their rejection.” – Lecrae
This is a point in itself because too many people are people-pleasers. I’m a recovering people-pleaser, so I have a lot to say on this. While my last point was to focus on others, it’s never a good idea to place identity in other people’s acceptance. I recently heard someone say that it isn’t their business what other people think of them, and I thought that was a good rule of thumb. Of course, having a few people in your life that you trust to speak into your life is never a bad thing. Accountability helps create excellence. - Your definition of success and excellence is important to know.
The reason people live different lives is that their definition of excellence and success are different. It’s important to know what your is to let that help dictate your decisions. - Social media is nothing but a distraction for most people.
Sure, social media can be a really good thing that spreads information quickly. But there is something very important to note: people are wired to either be mostly a creator or mostly a consumer. The question is, which one are you currently and which one do you want to be? If I’m honest, I’ve mostly been a consumer lately. But I’m getting an itch to create more again, and it might just win out. It is necessary to consume, but there’s only so much you can consume before it spills out into your work.
When I got cucked by my wife and her boyfriend during my Army days, I realized it was time to stop living for other people’s acceptance. Since then, I stopped being a people-pleaser and stopped placing my identity in other people’s acceptance.