When it comes to marriage, I need all the help I can get. I wasn’t necessarily groomed to be a husband. I didn’t get a college degree in “How to be a Good Husband.” And my wife didn’t take any of those classes for future wives.
So, here we are 12 years deep into marriage and figuring it out as we go. My guess is you didn’t go to college and major in marriage either. So, you have been learning on the job as well.
Identifying what is working in your marriage
As your marriage grows and the longer you are married, you accumulate some bumps and bruises along the way. You also have a pretty good understanding of the things in your marriage which can help your marriage the most.
We have identified a few of them. I am sharing them with you, giving you a few, or seven, resources that will benefit your marriage. Here are my top 7 resources to benefit your marriage.
- The Bible. The Bible has been the greatest benefit to our marriage. In fact, if it wasn’t for us learning the biblical principles for marriage very early in our marriage, then we probably would not still be married today.
- Marriage Mentors. We’ve had some unofficial marriage mentors, throughout our marriage. Well, more like counselors. But today we have a couple who we can truly say mentors us. We have learned a lot, from afar, from this couple and now are learning even more through spending time together over dinner and hanging out. Their mentorship is helping us go into the next phase of marriage.
- A shared calendar. We are married with three kids, so we have something going on all the time. Many times we have multiple things happening at the same time. Having a shared calendar is a must for our marriage and our family. We use Google Calendar to manage our schedules. The trick it is to check the calendar regularly. I am guilty of not always doing that.
- Evernote. Evernote is a free app that helps you to “remember everything.” Without Evernote I’d truly be lost. It is like an extension of my brain. I not only keep interesting info which influences blog posts and articles, but I keep important info for our family. I keep wish lists for my wife, so when I want to buy her something I have a handy lists of items she would want. Pretty much any and every pertinent piece of information about you, your spouse, your kids, or your life can be kept in Evernote.
- Dropbox. Dropbox is also a free app. We use Dropbox to share the photos we take on our phones. We use it to store important documents and share these, so both of us can access the important stuff when needed. It helps to keep us organized and gives us a great place to store those memories and important marriage and family digital files.
- A blog or a journal. When I first began writing, it had two main purposes. The first was to clarify my thoughts and help me deal with the challenges I face in marriage. The second was to help other men who may be having similar challenges. Writing a blog has become sort of a weekly journal. And doing so has helped me and subsequently, our marriage, tremendously. Without it I may have a ton of bottled up thoughts and feelings which could cause a strain on our relationship.
- Spotify, Pandora, or music in general. My wife has developed a real love of jazz music and we have both discovered the Gospel Hip Hop genre of music (hip hop music with Christian content and lyrics). Listening to either of these genres on our Spotify or Pandora apps is a great way to pass the time, or put us in a proper mind set. Jazz helps my wife relax, and gives her a sense of peace. Gospel Hip Hop motivates me, while it gets her spirits up. It is a great benefit to our marriage.
Maybe you have some go-to resources which are beneficial to your marriage, or maybe you can pull some, or all, of the resources from this list. Regardless, there are plenty of resources you can use in your marriage that will provide a benefit to your marriage and help you build a wonderful marriage relationship!
What resource would you add to the list?
Love the list, Jackie. I would probably add books to the list. We have learned so much from the Bible, but some other great marriage books as well. Wanting to pick up Love and Respect soon as I have heard this would be a great addition to the library. Thanks Jackie!
If you have children, I would add a babysitter to the list. Whether it is for date night, or just “give me a break” night, a babysitter yourboth trust and can depend on is a valuable resource!
OMG how did I leave that off the list?? Yes, Julia that may be 1a! Great addition!
We enjoy backgammon and Smash Ball! Smash ball is a back and forth handball game with wooden paddles sometimes seen at the beach. We have been married almost 24 years and playing and having fun together is key.
Great post Jackie! If your wife uses Pinterest then that’s a perfect replacement for the wish list you have sitting in Evernote. I have discovered over the last few years that Pinterest is just a wish list in disguise. My wife pins things like clothes, jewelry, etc that she likes and I have a go to place to find stuff that I know for sure she likes. Great list though!