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Christina Faith | December 29, 2014 | 6 Comments

Letting Your Spouse Do For You – Christina Faith

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If you are anything like me, then you have a hard time letting others do for you, especially your spouse. It is not easy allowing your spouse to do things for you that you want to do for yourself. A huge part of the resistance is that you have to relinquish control in order to allow it to happen. You have to trust your spouse. You have to relinquish the “me” aspect of the project. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. While we were courting, we decided that we would wait to buy things for our new life together. We both needed beds, clothing, organizational tools, and everything in between. Besides the fact we were broke and had no money, we wanted to build our home together.

The first time that I realized the weight of this agreement was a few months before we were married and I wanted to buy a new bed. My fiancé (now husband) was against the idea. He wanted to build everything together including the new bed. I was a bit upset, but I saw his point. Building meant building not adding pieces to what you already have.

While on our honeymoon, the building began. We drove to North Carolina for our honeymoon and decided to visit the Pier One, Marshall’s and Bed, Bath and Beyond. We went back and forth on what items to buy and what items not to buy. It was pure comedy. It was in that moment that I realized brands were important to my husband. For him, it wasn’t about the price, it was about the build and reputation of the brand. He liked the expensive things. I liked function and low price.

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Recently, my husband decided he wanted to turn a room in our house into a writing workspace for me. This was a dream come true. I have wanted a writing room for years! I have moved over 31 times in my life and 4 times in the last 5 years. Little did I know that my husband making me a writing room was about my husband “MAKING ME A WRITING ROOM”. My husband is a wonderful carpenter and designer. He had an idea of what he wanted the room to look like and I had an idea of what I wanted the room to look like. We bumped heads a few times during this process until I realized it was about my husband doing for me, not me telling my husband what to do for me.

 

I had to relinquish my desires in order for him to do for me. Our society breeds independence. We think we know best about ourselves. However, we have been given these amazing people called spouses who often know us better than we know ourselves. When I backed off of my husband during the construction of my room and trusted him, the outcome was amazing.

 

In the last month my husband has laid floor in the kitchen, refinished the hardwood of our entire first floor, built a bookshelf from scratch, built an entertainment center, installed little things and picked out the accessories for my room. He did what he was designed to do. He is a designer. He is a builder. I let him do for me. I helped him and brought little things to make the room my own, but he did the bulk of the work.

 

When our spouses do for us it doesn’t always come out how we personally planned it but it will come out how it needs to. Our job is to celebrate the accomplishments, effort and to be grateful. Just because we don’t like it initially doesn’t mean we won’t like it later on. Think positively, not doubtful during the process. Let your spouse do for you.

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Filed Under: Creativity, Relationships

Christina Faith

Christina Faith is an expert creative communicator. It is her goal to redefine the image of a Christian through the arts. She is a writer and director who holds a Master’s of Divinity from Palmer Theological Seminary. Christina Faith’s expertise in creativity affords her the opportunity to communicate relationships in an unconventional manner. Christina Faith loves people and loves to see them love each other better. You can view her work, including her new Web Series “Single and Anxious”, at CreativeThoughtMedia.com

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Glenn Brooke says

    December 29, 2014 at 2:16 am

    Great message (and a very cool writing space 🙂

    Reply
    • Christina Faith says

      December 29, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Thank you Glenn. Always good to learn in the midst of it.

      Reply
  2. Adam Smith says

    December 29, 2014 at 10:26 am

    Love this post, Christina! What an awesome husband you have.

    Reply
    • Christina Faith says

      December 29, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Yes, he is pretty amazing!

      Reply
      • Adam Smith says

        December 29, 2014 at 12:40 pm

        Hearing this kind of stuff makes me want to be better.

        Reply
  3. Kirby Ingles says

    December 29, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    Control is a difficult to give up but something we all can work on in many areas of our lives. The unknown is risky and we fear what we can not control. The reward is greater when we are pleasantly surprised by how well our loved ones know us.

    Reply

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Hi, my name is Adam Smith and welcome to asmithblog.com. I am the author of the new book, The Bravest You. Because of my work as an entrepreneur, consultant, writer, and speaker, I have been named a top industry influencer by American Genius. I live with my wife, Jasmine, and three children in Shenandoah, IA.

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