Last week my wife and I connected with a couple from San Diego, CA and about eight other couples here in Indianapolis. We co-hosted a meetup for married couples as part of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Midwest Tour.
Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo are the co-hosts of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage podcast, which happens to be the #1 marriage podcast on iTunes. They were visiting the midwest, where Alisa was born and raised and attended college, and wanted to connect with married couples in the area.
We had a great time connecting with them and the other couples. Some couples were from the Indy area, while one couple drove from Louisville, KY just to hang out. We reserved a private room at a local restaurant then enjoyed pizza, each other, and some great marriage information to help our marriages become extraordinary.
As we hung out, Tony and Alisa shared their equation for an extraordinary marriage, which has helped them break free from ordinary. It’s something every single married couple can benefit from and every single married couple can do to become extraordinary. And it’s a simple “math” equation.
E (Extraordinary) = I – B + A (“I” minus “B” plus “A”)
Don’t worry this is not like the Algebra or Calculus you took in high school. Like I said, every couple can figure it out, and when you do, it will be the most valuable math lesson you have ever learned. So, let’s break it down.
Extraordinary marriages don’t just happen. I don’t know one couple that accidentally had a great marriage. That would be like accidentally driving to the store to pick up some milk. It doesn’t happen without intention.
I talk about the 7 Rings of Marriage often, and the only way to wear all 7 Rings is to be intentional. Progressing through each ring in your marriage requires you to determine that you want to grow, and go about it.
The same goes for extraordinary marriages. You have to be intentional. Choose the result you want in marriage, and get intentional about getting that result.
When I first began listening to Tony and Alisa’s podcast they cut me pretty deep. They called me out, and it may call you out too. They talked about how people today glorify being busy. They call it the “glorification of busyness,” and I was guilty.
I began to think of how many times I said, “I’m busy” or “I’ve been busy” or something along those lines. I realized this glorification gave me an excuse to not spend the time I should in my marriage. To have an extraordinary marriage we have to stop being so busy!
That means that we need to cut out the fluff, meaning that we all need to cut out things that don’t matter, and spend time with the most important people in our lives. Our spouses are at the top of that list.
It’s great to be intentional about your marriage, and it’s great to have the “aha moment” that you have glorified busyness. But, it’s all useless if you don’t take the action.
What intentional actions will make your marriage extraordinary? Do them. What busyness can you remove that will make your marriage extraordinary? Then subtract it from your life.
Don’t just talk about it, be about it. The Bible teaches us to not just be hearers, but doers. This is the part of the equation that brings forth those extraordinary results.
ONE Extraordinary Marriage
When you get intentional, take out the busyness of your life, and take appropriate action you have the solution for the marriage you have dreamed of. You will have ONE Extraordinary Marriage!
Glenn Brooke says
I love it! (closet math geek) 🙂
Tony DiLorenzo says
Awesome Glenn. And it’s very simple math. 😉
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Ha! We all are Glenn! 🙂
Adam Smith says
Love this post, Jackie. If anything, we could work against busyness. We have already made leaps and bounds to deal with this, but we are continuing to work on it.
Tony DiLorenzo says
Adam, great to hear that you are making it a point in your life to rid busyness. It’s something I can find myself saying to Alisa and that’s not fair to her or our marriage.
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Busyness gets us all…but I learned as a kid “if you know better, you’ll do better.” Now we all know better. 🙂
Jed Jurchenko says
Great formula! Simple and easy to remember. Any chance you have a follow up post on ideas for reducing business in order to connect more? We’re great at being intentional and taking action, but find ourselves scrambling to do it. I love the idea of slowing down, now we just have to figure out how to get it done 🙂