All I Need To Know, I Learned In Kindergarten – Julia Winston

 

All I Really Need To Know, I Learned in Kindergarten was written by Robert Fulghum 25 yrs ago. It was chocked full of “uncommon thoughts on common things.” A recent event with my child in kindergarten showed me how this is still true today. In today’s post, I will highlight the way we taught our son to deal with kids who bothered him. Read on because there is adult applications too.

My son had a terrible day in school not too long ago. During that day, he hit, kicked, and pushed 5 different classmates. Thankfully this was unusual behavior that made the teacher contact me right away. Even though I am the “communication” person, it was my husband (the engineer) who was able to extrapolate from our son, why he resorted to such behavior. In short, he was frustrated because kids were “bothering” him all day and he didn’t know what else to do. Of course, we had the conversation about not hitting others, but we knew we needed to go farther.

We didn’t want to say not to do something without providing an alternative way to communicate with his classmates. We came up with a plan to help my son have a process he can use to help him resolve his frustrations in a more healthy way.

Using one of his favorite cartoon characters as a reference we came up with his 3 special steps. Do you know Special Agent Oso? He’s a unique stuffed bear. He is always on assignment to help a kid somewhere, and with help from you, there’s nothing he can’t dooooo….(Sorry, I started singing. Hey, it’s a catchy tune.) Special Agent Oso solves all his problems using a “three special steps” song that never fails the Special Agent. So, we patterned our solution after three special steps to help get my son excited and also to help him to remember there is a better way to communicate with his peers. The lessons he learned can help us adults as well.

So are you ready for your three special steps??!

Step 1

Say “stop”.

My son wasn’t saying, “stop”. When kids were doing things that bothered him, he gave no verbal indication that he didn’t like what they were doing or that he wanted them to stop.

Adult application

Adults need to verbally express what they like and don’t like. As adults, we like to drop hints, be sarcastic, or wrap a serious wish in a joke hoping the other person will correctly decipher our true meaning. That doesn’t work well at all. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Step 2

Say “If you don’t stop, I’m going to tell”.

It was important for us to teach our son to give mercy, but to also share the consequences of unwanted attention. He is five and I fully expect him to tell a trusted adult when someone is bothering him.

Adult application

It is vital to express the consequences of our actions up front. How many of your employees don’t know the consequence of minor infractions, like being late to work, or major infractions like stealing intellectual property? As adults, we assume other adults will read the HR policies or just use common sense. Be sure the consequences, good or bad, are known to those you lead.

Step 3

Raise your hand and tell the teacher

This is the action step. He has expressed himself, he has warned, and now it is time to act.

Adult Application

You must follow through on your word, your commitment, and yes, even threats. You risk losing your credibility, especially if you are in leadership, if you don’t prove to be trustworthy and fair. Lack of follow through tells everyone there is no bite behind your bark. You must take action.

There you have it folks. Three special steps on how to deal with the “kids in your class who are bothering you.” I guess we did learn everything we needed to know in kindergarten.

What are some childhood lessons adults would do well to remember? You can leave your comment below.