Have you ever thought about how well you know your spouse? Not just their nickname as a child, the name of their elementary school, or some of their most embarrassing moments. I am asking, do you really know them, what really makes them tick, and what will really make them happy? I learned this past weekend that my wife knows me really well.
Saturday was my 39th birthday, and my wife arranged a small get together that showed how well she would do on the Newlywed Game. I don’t ask for a lot on my birthday, as I usually say I just want to relax, and be with my family. And I always say, just let me know what we are doing so I can prepare. I am a planner, a person who likes to be prepared, and not a very spontaneous person. Basically, I don’t like surprises, or so I say…
Well, me saying that to my wife, really meant nothing to her. She is a person who doesn’t enjoy planning, manages perfectly fine when not being prepared, and loves to be spontaneous. But more than that, she knows her husband really well, and she knows what he will enjoy.
So on my birthday she secretly planned some of my favorite things. First, we went to our son’s basketball game in the morning then spent some time just hanging out with our kids. Later, we took our kids to some friend’s house so we could have a date night, which I thought was going to be just the two of us. I was wrong.
Once we dropped the kids off we got dressed and headed out. I’m thinking okay, we will go to one of my favorite restaurants, maybe go to a movie or somewhere to chat before picking up the kids and heading home. Only, we didn’t pull up to one of my favorite restaurants, so out came her disclaimer. She said, “since I couldn’t take you to a game, I thought I’d take you to watch a game.” (I’m a big basketball fan, and we don’t have cable, so I don’t see many games).
A great gift
The restaurant we went to has like a billion big screen TVs, and normally a game is on. This night happened to be the night that the one game I “had” to see was on TV, and the opening tip was minutes away when we came in.
So, boom! I’m like this is AWESOME! (It doesn’t take much with me…smile) And then as we walk back to our reserved table, there awaits a room full of our friends yelling “SURPRISE!” Yes, she surprised the person who doesn’t like surprises, but just like she thought, I loved it!
She combined some of my favorite things: date night with her, good friends, and BASKETBALL!! Even though I probably would have discouraged it if I would have known. I probably would have suggested the same restaurant we always go to, just her and I, and I would have wanted to know every detail in advance.
So, how well do you know your spouse? Here are 3 ways to test if you really know your spouse well.
- You will hear their advice, but do something totally opposite, knowing they will love it. When you really know your spouse, you take some “risks,” but you know them well enough that you know it will end well.
- You give the perfect gifts. My wife knows I love basketball, and many of her gifts for me have been basketball related. One time she arranged an out of state trip, which included tickets to an NBA basketball game. This weekend she knew no matter how much or how little she did, if it included basketball, and some good friends, I would have a great time, and I did.
- You actually listen and pay attention. My wife not only listens to my words, but she pays attention. As I said, I claim to not like surprises, but every time she surprises me, I like it. When you intently listen to all forms of communication from your spouse, it will show you how well you know them.
So, take the test and see how well you know your spouse. But more important, make knowing your spouse a huge priority in your life.
My wife gives perfect gifts. She always tells me how difficult it is to buy gifts for me, but always picks the best ones. It’s my main love language, so that alone means a lot to me.
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Isn’t amazing how they can do that? I probably couldn’t tell my wife the perfect gift for me, but she somehow seems to get it right.
Devin Dabney says
Great story Jackie! I’m hoping I can still pass for 29 when I get to 39.
The one time I can remember really expressing that I knew my wife was when I planned a baby shower without her knowing. It went over really well, but since then, I have really come to know that I have a lot of learning yet to do. It’s like I have a bachelor’s degree in knowing her and need to get to that Ph.D (Fireproof movie reference).
Leo J. Lampinen says
She always surprises me. I may make a comment on something and then months later she’ll give me a gift related to that one thing. I always find myself asking “How did you know?!?!” Apparently, she doesn’t forget about things as I do.