Photo Credit: Keoni Cabral via Compfight cc
Goals and dreams are top-of-mind for me most of the time because my number one strength, according to all of the different strengths finders tests I have taken, is being futuristic. It is my blessing, but can sometimes be my curse. If I am not careful I can dwell there and never live in the moment and I end up missing my wife’s needs and precious time with my two year old. The thoughts of what is going to happen tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month and next year consume me if I am not careful. My wife knows this about me. She is constantly reminded about the next “big thing” in life because I am reminding her about it on a regular basis. But, yet she loves me for it. Why?
Because your spouse loves you for being you.
Also, I have never fully embraced the concept of celebrating victories. Once I accomplish something, it is on to the next thing. It is a vicious cycle that doest allow for slowing down. This is just a small window into my personality, but maybe it sounds a lot like you. Maybe you are that person that just doesn’t give up no matter what the cost, even if it means your most important relationship. If only we could fully let our spouses in and communicate our wildest dreams to them, maybe our spouses would feel like they were a part of our pursuits. I can almost guarantee that your husband or wife want to help, but have no idea how to since you haven’t let them in yet. You see, in my marriage I have thought I could take on the world by myself, but I have learned, more recently than I would like to admit, that I need help from my wife. Once teamwork is established, success is and easier achievement.
Two people pursuing the same goal achieves better results.
Maybe you have huge goals as well and yes, that is a good thing. But, when going after these big dreams you need the closest people to you in life to be behind you 100% and that includes your spouse. Your spouse is the one person in the world who cares about you the most and they want to support you in whatever ways possible. Communicate to your spouse your aspirations in life and trust that they want to see you succeed more than anyone else does.
Your spouse is for you!
Here are three ways to get your spouse on your side and see success in reaching your goals:
1. Ask your spouse what their dreams are.
This seems so simple, but don’t get so wrapped up in what you are doing that you forget about your other half. Demands on individuals have never been as high as they are right now and there has never been as many distractions as there are right now. The biggest detail that spouses miss for pursuing life goals is the teamwork that marriage brings includes working on dreams together, not separately.
2. Communicate where you are wanting to go and show your spouse the results.
Doing this will make the journey more effective and fun. I don’t know about you, but a long car ride is a lot more fun with someone else than doing it alone. The ride of doing the journey of dream chasing with your spouse needs to be talked about, it needs to be fun and it needs some serious focus. Discipline yourself to sit down and write out a plan for the future. Include your spouse in every step. This shows your better half that you want to know their thoughts on the process. The main thing that this does is ensures you are both on the same page and everyone is being heard. Most people just need to be assured that their voice matters and it does!
3. Monetize it if possible.
This shouldn’t be your main focus nor is it high on the list, but nothing gets your spouse on board with your dream faster than making money at going after your dreams in life. I have learned this through my own marriage. If long periods of time are repeatedly spent away from the family, then there probably needs to be some type of monetary value to it. With this point, you can decide how much value you put on your time per day and decide what the value of pursuing your dreams actually brings. If it is just an occasional hobby for fun that doesn’t bring in money, then great. But if it is a career move or something that could possibly be, then it doesn’t hurt to look into how you can turn this option into a reality. Doing what you love and making money while doing it is rewarding for everyone involved. If you can be happy pursuing your passions and be rewarded financially at the same time, then why not? You could even turn it into a career.
Again, you need to have your spouse on your side when dream chasing. It just won’t work if you overlook the importance of having your spouse on board. Start today by communicating to your spouse exactly what your focus is and renewing your focus on your huge goal to achieve success.
Be encouraged today!
Keep moving in the right direction with creating your legacy.
Take those around you along for the journey.
How can your spouse help you with your goals? You can leave your comment below.
Hi Adam,
I always say, if it wasn’t for my wife I would either be in jail, in a mental hospital, or dead. She is THE reason I am a functioning member of society.
Great post Adam!
Amen. Wives keep us guys on track.
Hi Adam,
I always say, if it wasn’t for my wife I would either be in jail, in a mental hospital, or dead. She is THE reason I am a functioning member of society.
Great post Adam!
Amen. Wives keep us guys on track.
Good advice Adam! I had to learn to allow my husband time to object to my big puffy dreams. I can’t force his buy-in. He needs time to reflect on my goals and plans and feel comfortable expressing his objections. I then have to listen (without judgement) to those objections to see if there is any wisdom there. After objections are addressed, then real buy-in begins.
Really good add-on points Julia. You always have great advice.
Good advice Adam! I had to learn to allow my husband time to object to my big puffy dreams. I can’t force his buy-in. He needs time to reflect on my goals and plans and feel comfortable expressing his objections. I then have to listen (without judgement) to those objections to see if there is any wisdom there. After objections are addressed, then real buy-in begins.
Really good add-on points Julia. You always have great advice.
Not married just yet, but even in my time being engaged and in a serious committed relationship, I’ve seen the enormous benefits of bouncing all of my crazy ideas off of her. She sees things I don’t and helps me realize when I’m being unrealistic or pessimistic. She kept me chugging along with encouragement when employment prospects were bleak. I owe much of what I have to her.
Great post Adam.
Thanks Daniel. They are a great filter for ideas aren’t they?
Not married just yet, but even in my time being engaged and in a serious committed relationship, I’ve seen the enormous benefits of bouncing all of my crazy ideas off of her. She sees things I don’t and helps me realize when I’m being unrealistic or pessimistic. She kept me chugging along with encouragement when employment prospects were bleak. I owe much of what I have to her.
Great post Adam.
Thanks Daniel. They are a great filter for ideas aren’t they?
So true Adam. If you understand french, I let you read http://www.business-angel-france.com/femme-de-business-angel-entrepreneur
I took one French class in high school and almost failed so I don’t read French. Sorry.
So true Adam. If you understand french, I let you read http://www.business-angel-france.com/femme-de-business-angel-entrepreneur
I took one French class in high school and almost failed so I don’t read French. Sorry.
This is such a good way to bond and strengthen each other. Completing goals together is such a great idea.
We all want to succeed and together is always a better way!
Absolutely!
This is such a good way to bond and strengthen each other. Completing goals together is such a great idea.
We all want to succeed and together is always a better way!
Absolutely!
Success really won’t happen if both partners are working together. I’m a better man, leader, and moving closer toward my dreams due greatly because of the support and love of my wife. Great thoughts!
Thanks Dan
Your welcome.
Success really won’t happen if both partners are working together. I’m a better man, leader, and moving closer toward my dreams due greatly because of the support and love of my wife. Great thoughts!
Thanks Dan
Your welcome.