My wife and are embarking on a new stage in our marriage. If you’ve read my past posts here, on my blog, or the other sites I write for you’ve probably heard me mention The 7 Rings of Marriage. The “7 Rings” are the different stages our marriage has gone through, and based on the feedback received after I wrote about them, the are also they different stages many other marriages have gone through.
A mature marriage
One of the most mature stages of marriage is the “MentoRING.” This is where our marriage is going now. After going through, sometimes just surviving some of the “rings” in our marriage, we are here. We are mentoring other couples, and helping other couples solve problems and get from one “ring” to the next.
What is sometimes weird about it is that several years ago when we were struggling through the “PerseveRING” stage of our marriage some of our friends told us they could see us teaching and ministering to other couples like our mentors were doing for us at the time. We couldn’t imagine it with what we were going through.
But here we are, starting a web show, writing a book, and creating marriage courses using what we’ve learned to have a lasting and fulfilling marriage to help others do the same. We were hesitant at first to move forward, and honestly not always sure our marriage is stronger today than it was on our honeymoon.
Refined by the fire
And since we’ve decided to move forward things haven’t gotten easier. But our experience taught us this typically happens when we are trying to do something big in our marriage. Challenges come. Your marriage may be the same way. When you are ready to go from one level to the next in your marriage, or you just want to go on a weekend getaway, things may get challenging. And you may reflect back on your honeymoon and think,”wow things were much better then.”
But don’t let that deter you. Your marriage may not always “feel” great, but your marriage isn’t all about feeling. It’s about the choices you make each day to love your spouse, despite challenging circumstances. So, in that respect if you are able to love your spouse when it’s not all honeymoon-like then yes, your marriage is stronger today than it was on your honeymoon.
Be encouraged by that, and keep moving through each stage and experience of marriage knowing it is making you stronger as a couple.
I would say that our marriage is much more real now. After the honeymoon stage it definitely gets back to real life. It takes more work, it takes creativity and it takes communication. But through all this marriage is strengthened. Our marriage is 100x stronger today than it was back then and I am proud to be able to say that because the journey hasn’t been easy but it has been worth it.