Adam Kirk Smith

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7 Rings of Marriage

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The Wedding RING to DisoveRING to PeseveRING in Marriage – Jackie Bledsoe

The day you got married you made a promise to your spouse. The day of your wedding you had plenty of dreams, you saw an amazing life together, and you couldn’t imagine it being anything other than happily ever after. You probably had an amazing honeymoon together, and all was bliss.

 

The Wedding RING to DisoveRING to PeseveRING in Marriage
Photo and video credit: The Skit Guys

 

And then you went home…

There are many stages to marriage. Through analyzing my own marriage, the marriages of friends of ours, through studying and writing about marriage, and now recently interviewing couples for our 7 Rings of Marriage web show, I’ve learned that healthy and fulfilling marriages go through 7 stages, or rings as I call them.

The video below, created by the Skit Guys, does an amazing job of giving you a brief illustration of what happens in three of those stages, the Wedding RING, the DiscoveRING, and the PerseveRING.

Check it out. While you are watching I’m sure you will see some of your marriage demonstrated by the couple in the video.

Have you experienced any of this in your marriage?

 

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3 Tips for Working with Your Spouse and Family – Jackie Bledsoe

working with your spouse and family
Two family business duos. My wife and I, and Michael Hyatt and his daughter Megan Hyatt Miller.

 

Having a family business is one of my dreams. I hope to create a business that not only provides for my family and creates a financial foundation for future generations, but also one that is run primarily by our family. To me it marries two things I am very passionate about — family and business.

We’ve had a few businesses in the past, but none of them I would really consider a family business. Most of the time I was the only one working in the business, and the only one who had any desire to. It was only partially fulfilling to me.

Finally the family business I desire

Well, last month my wife and I took a major step to launching something that has all the ingredients to turning into the family business I have always dreamed of. We have been working on the 7 Rings of Marriage, which is something we created last October. The 7 Rings of Marriage project will include a web show, marriage courses, and a book all designed to help couples have a fulfilling marriage.

After months in planning we finally began interviewing couples who will be on our show. I have to admit both of us were a little nervous leading up to the first interview, which probably contributed to us recording the first interview two months after our original goal to do so.

One of our biggest concerns was how we would appear on camera. Would it look and feel unnatural? Would any issues we had that day come off during the interviews? Would our nonverbal language portray something we didn’t want? Of course, none of those things happened. The interviews were great, we felt great, and seemed to actually come off like we actually loved each other. 🙂

Through the experience of those first interviews, there are some insights I pulled out that I think can help you, whether you work with your spouse professionally or not. Here are three tips that will help you work with your spouse and family.

Be yourself

When you get married it becomes less and less about you. However, at the same time the best thing to bring to your marriage is to be you — the you God created you to be. We could have been tempted to try to be somebody we are not while doing the interviews. But, that would not have been authentic, and would eventually have shown. In your marriage, you have unique character traits, skills, and a personality that is your gift to the relationship. Don’t change them. Find them and utilize your uniqueness to be a blessing to your spouse and what you are trying to achieve.

Be their support

Last week my wife and I went to Nashville, TN for a two-day video shoot that I was invited to with Michael Hyatt and his Platform University team. My wife wasn’t involved in any of it, as it was related to my platform and the work I’m doing with my blog.

My wife just came along for the ride. She supported me on day one by staying there (behind the scenes) while we shot videos all afternoon and into the late evening. The next day there was limited space, so she didn’t come. She instead spent some time at Starbucks while I was interviewed, had mastermind sessions, and think tanks from 9am-4pm. She didn’t complain one bit, and later we got to enjoy a great Date Night in Nashville.

Sometimes supporting your spouse means helping them, other times it means just being there, and sometimes it just means waiting on the side. No matter what form it takes, it is important.

Be honest

Since we have gotten deeper into the 7 Rings of Marriage, my wife and I have had many conversations and brainstorm sessions about ideas we are considering. We don’t agree on every single one of them, just like we don’t agree on every single thing within the framework of our marriage. The times that we benefit the most are in those times that we disagree, and we share our honest thoughts. It can be easy to try to avoid any potential conflict that disagreeing can lead to, but neither one of us grow, and when it comes to working together, the project may not grow to its full potential. So, honesty is the best policy. Whether you are working together or just trying to have a fulfilling marriage, make sure you share your true thoughts, true feelings, and expect the same from your spouse.

The journey to create something lasting and fulfilling

It’s amazing how working toward a fulfilling marriage and working to create a lasting family business is such a similar journey. No matter what you are working toward, putting the three points above into practice will get you moving in the right direction.

As a thank you for reading this post, I am giving Adam Smith blog readers a FREE resource to guide you on the path to a fulfilling marriage.  The 7 Rings of Marriage will help you get there.

I created an 7 Rings of Marriage infographic that outlines the 7 Rings and will show you what’s ahead based on where your marriage is today. Click here for this FREE resource.

What is the biggest challenge to working with your spouse or family?

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How to Have a Healthy Marriage and Lasting Love – Jackie Bledsoe


 How to Have a Healthy Marriage and Lasting Love by Jackie Bledsoe | ASmithBlog.com

 

Today is our 13th wedding anniversary. Thirteen-years. Wow! Twenty years ago, even fifteen years ago, if you would have told me that I would be celebrating my 13th anniversary this year, and that I’d be happily married, I would have looked at you like you were crazy. But, here we are celebrating 13 years of marriage, and we are really, I mean really excited about what’s in store for our marriage in the future! I can say that my wife and I have a healthy marriage and a lasting love.

Our imperfect marriage

That doesn’t mean our relationship has been perfect. It started out very much imperfect, and has continued along that path. We are imperfect people in an imperfect relationship, and sometimes that’s what makes it even more special.

The card I gave my wife for our anniversary does a good job of summing it up…

“The day we promised for better or worse, there was no way we could have known what that would mean….whether things are running smoothly or a little crazy…everything will be okay…it means that our love is real, we’re here for each other, and we’re in this together — for better, for worse, for always.”

Although we have been in the “fire” throughout our marriage, we’ve now come to realize that all of what we have gone through wasn’t just for us. The experiences we had, the challenges we have faced, and the different stages in marriage we’ve gone through are more common than not in marriages.

A desire for a marriage that lasts

Through it all we discovered that we have a real passion for marriage, and not just ours. We want every other imperfect marriage to grow to a healthy marriage. We want every other married couple to experience lasting love.

So, we have created a project that will help your marriage and other marriages get there. It is called the 7 Rings of Marriage, and it takes couples from where they are today to the most mature and healthy stages in marriage.

If you have been reading my writing here on Adam’s site, or on my blog, you may be familiar with the 7 Rings, as I have written about some of the rings before. Now, we are determined to uncover what makes healthy and mature marriages that last.

This uncovering will come from further unpacking our marriage journey, unpacking the journey of regular couples like us and you, as well as learning from marriage experts who have been through it all, seen it all, and have helped other couples do the same.

How you can have a healthy marriage and lasting love

If you are a couple that desires to experience all 7 Rings of Marriage, resulting in a healthy marriage and lasting love, then this project is for you.

If you are the couple who has experienced all 7 Rings of Marriage, and whose experience can help others do the same, then this project is for you.

If you think there is a possibility you will get married, or remarried, one day, then this project is for you.

Exactly what we need

We need more and more marriages that last, and more and more couples who really love their marriages. We plan to do this with three primary resources:

  1. The 7 Rings of Marriage web show (Summer 2014) – A FREE web show where my wife and I will interview other couples who’ve experienced one or all of the 7 Rings. We are hand selecting couples who have a heart for marriage, and are already helping other couples grow in their marriages.
  2. The 7 Rings of Marriage curriculum (end of 2014/beginning 2015) – Marriage courses designed to help you discover where your marriage is today, and how to grow your marriage to where you desire it to be — healthy and happy. The curriculum will be designed based on research, feedback, and real-life experiences of couples who’ve had successes in these specific areas.
  3. The 7 Rings of Marriage book (Spring 2015) – This book will take our marriage story, and the stories of the couples we interview online and offline and bring them together in a way that will encourage, inspire, and help marriages at whatever stage they are at.

Marriages today are in an unhealthy state

Marriages today are in an unhealthy state, and it’s time to change that. When marriages change, our children and families will be changed, and as a result our communities will also change.

The 7 Rings is how we plan to contribute to this change. To be a part of this change click here to sign up and get notified when the web show launches, to get more info on the curriculum, and learn more about the book.

You will also have an opportunity to participate in our research, which will help us create the best resources tailored to you and for your marriage.

When you sign up we will send you an infographic which details each of the 7 Rings, and you can use this tool to see where your marriage is today. Let’s get back to making marriage a priority, and making our marriages last.

What is one thing that has helped your marriage last? Please share in the comment section below.