Many people will blame other people for their shortcomings, but the truth is that you probably have more to do with things than you care to admit. In my own life, there have been times where I have blamed everything else in my life, but myself. In these times I would eventually realize that my mistakes and mishaps were due to my own self-talk, my own lack of time management, and my own lack of work ethic in those moments. When we don’t see ourselves from the correct perspective, when we fall for unimportant distractions, and when we don’t put our best effort forward, there is no other result that can happen but to fall short of our goals.
So, instead of looking at everything that isn’t going our way, we should instead look at everything that is going well. Instead of blaming everything and everyone else for where we are currently at, we should instead look at what we could do differently to break out of the funk we are in. Instead of looking at where we could be if only we would have gotten our big break, we should instead look at what our current circumstances are and make a plan to move ahead.Instead of looking at everything that isn't going your way, look at everything that is going well. Click To Tweet
In 2008, I lost a lot of money in a real estate deal. I wanted to blame the crashing housing market, but in the end, it was a stupid decision on my own part. The way the market was already trending and the location of the property should have been red flags, but I didn’t care to pay attention. Since then I have learned from my mistakes, and make better investments now because of it.
In 2010, I thought about starting my own business, but decided to put it on hold because of my lack of time. In reality, my lack of time came from not managing my time well. In late 2012, I decided to change this, and began focusing on my waste of time. For the six years prior to this, I was spending five hours every day on social media building my brand, so I switched to spending only two hours every day on social media. (Thank you to everyone who has followed along from the beginning. You know who you are.) This small tweak in my schedule allowed me to maintain the brand I had built. This freed up three hours every single day in 2013, so that I had more than enough time to work on my very first business. It is at this time that I developed my life coaching business, thus giving me the perfect way to help people.
And in 2014, once I had enough prior experience, I purchased my first brick and mortar shoe store. Why? Because I’m an entrepreneur. For some reason, it wasn’t enough for me to be a life coach and call myself an entrepreneur. Maybe because I get to do what I love and make money while doing it, or maybe because there are tons of frauds out there who call themselves ‘entrepreneurs’ but aren’t, or maybe because I don’t like calling myself a life coach. (I’d rather call myself a “people helper,” but nobody understood that branding.) This has taken even more time from my already busy schedule, but it’s important for me to do this.
I tell you all of this because I want you to know that I’m in the trenches with you. I work a lot, but I love what I do. I have bad days and I have good days, but even when the voice in my head tells me to quit, I keep on keeping on and give every day my all. Whatever you do, you have control over your self-perception. You don’t have to allow your less than ideal current circumstances be your dictator, but you can instead use them for your fuel to move ahead. I know that if this is you, then you want to move ahead, and the good news is that you can once you decide to.You don't have to allow your less than ideal current circumstances be your dictator. Click To Tweet
I don’t really know what my next business venture will be. I have always wanted my own restaurant, but I know from years of management experience that it’s grueling work, so that will take a long time to wrap my head around the idea. I’ve also thrown around the idea of collaborating with someone in the footwear industry or the automobile industry, but that’ll have to wait, too. (I specialize in the areas of everyday products and services that people need and use regularly, so if you know someone who does the same, please e-mail me.) I’m sure that those self-defeating voices will try to come back when the time comes to develop a new business, but I’m not listening.
It’s in-between all of this work that I find the time to write, record podcasts, develop a YouTube show (coming soon!!!), and speak in front of audiences. Speaking hasn’t happened often as of late as I’ve had my head down for the past five years or so. You know, I’ve been working on my marriage, I’ve been busy raising human beings, and I’ve been spending a lot of time and effort building businesses, but speaking will become a top priority in my life once again over the next few years, and I can’t wait. It truly is the most fun part of what I do, so I’m excited to get back to it.
So much to do and so little time has become the mantra I live by, but throughout my journey the loudest voice has not been the “haters,” but rather my own defeating voice. Thank goodness I’ve learned how to defeat it, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that self-doubt is a real thing we must all learn to fight. So much is happening and there’s so many moving parts, but nothing outside of my own will has hindered my success in the past five years.
When you see that you have much to do with your success, through your thought processes, through your work, and through your determination, you will see that in fact you have been your own worst enemy all along. But, the good news is that you can change things simply by the way you see yourself. You are important, your effort does change things, and you have more power than you give yourself credit for.