In the past I’ve written about The 7 Rings of Marriage, which takes you on a journey through the stages of lasting marriages. It’s amazing how each ring can be different, but there are some common characteristics in each.
Making marriage more enjoyable
These characteristics bridge the gap allowing you to progress from one ring to the next. I recently realized one of these characteristics is present in all relationships in the beginning. It makes marriage more enjoyable when present, and not so enjoyable when absent. When you went from the Engagement Ring to the Wedding Ring you were expecting to enjoy this for the rest of your life. However, it gradually faded for some of us. When that happens you may not know exactly what it is, but you know something is missing. Fortunately it is something you can get back.
Is there kindness in your marriage?
What am I talking about? I am talking about kindness. Yes, something as simple as kindness. Before you move on thinking “this is nothing new,” I want you to look at your relationship and see if it is truly present. I consider myself kind, but when I looked at what true kindness is, I realized kindness is sometimes missing.
Kindness is love in action
One of the best ways to look at it is by comparing it to patience.
“Patience is how love reacts to negative situations. Kindness is how love acts to create positive situations.” (Click here to tweet this quote)
Patience is reactive, while kindness is proactive.
When kindness is truly present in your relationship you meet the needs of the moment. You think ahead, you seek out what your spouse needs, and you do it before they even ask. I now think, and cringe, about the times I’ve been sitting on the couch “relaxing” while my wife is scrambling trying to get things done. When kindness is present in situations like that, I will jump up before she begins to stress, find what needs to be done, and do it.
What kindness does in your relationship
Kindness will cause you to listen first. Kindness will make you smile first, or take the first loving action. Kindness will have you up on a Saturday morning cleaning the house for your wife, so she can sleep in. As I said earlier, I thought kindness was present in our relationship, but it is lacking in some areas. So, what about you? Did this post help you look at kindness from a different perspective?
Hopefully you see the characteristics of kindness in your relationship, and you continue that path. If it’s missing, I encourage you to bring it back. Be proactive with your love. Love him/her first in action. One amazing thing you will find is, just like a smile, kindness is contagious.
This week do some unexpected acts of kindness to your spouse.