Squashing A.N.T.’s and Increasing Confidence – Jed Jurchenko

Ants are pesky creatures that march into homes uninvited. They eat our food and create a mess. Similar to ants, are A.N.T.’s, an acronym for Automatic Negative Thoughts. A.N.T.’s, much like the insect, are irritating and intrusive. Automatic negative thoughts are those invasive

• worries
• anxieties, and
• self-statements

that bring us down. They are any type of stinking thinking that saps our energy, paralyzes us with fear, and blocks us from accomplishing our goals.

So, how do we get rid of these sneaky pests that invade our thoughts? Here are three practical steps.

 

1. Replace “Shoulds” and “Musts” with Likes and Preferences.

The renowned psychologist Karen Horney talked about the “ternary of the shoulds.” This type of stinking thinking happens when we tell ourselves, I should do better, I should be further along than I am, and I should try harder.

Along a similar line, Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, coined the term “musterbation,” a crude play on words that emphasizes the negative impact of telling ourselves that we “must” do something. “Should” and “must” are high-pressure words that heightens anxiety and, if dwelt on long enough, can cause us to enter a state of panic.

Albert Ellis suggests that we reduce the power our shoulds and musts by asking ourselves:

• Why should things be this way? What’s the worst that would happen if things didn’t happen as I say they should?
• Why must I do, accomplish, believe, or feel a certain way? What’s the worst that would happen if I don’t?

When we examine our shoulds and musts, we will likely discover that what we have been viewing as extremely important, is not nearly as dramatic as we have built it up to be. One way to squash our A.N.T.s is to change our vocabulary by replacing “should” and “must” with the words “like” and “prefer”. Thus, “I must get an A on this test”, becomes, “I would prefer to get an A”, and “I should be further along in my career right now” becomes, “I would like it if I was further along”. Believe it or not, the simple act of decreasing the intensity of the language we use—both verbally and in our thoughts—can reduce our anxiety and increase our overall mood.

 

2. Eliminate Awfulizing and Catastrophizing.

Awfulizing and catastrophizing are terms that describe the human tendency to, “make a mountain out of a mole-hill”. This happens when we zero-in on the negative aspects of a situation and forget that we have power to change our situation by acting differently. Albert Ellis believed that there is very little in life that is truly awful or catastrophic. However, we can quickly make an event feel catastrophic by forgetting about the positives all around us, and honing in on the negative aspects of our circumstances.

There’s a famous line in Hamlet that says, “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” and the book of Proverbs states, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). The second way to squash those pesky A.N.T.’s is to make sure that we are not magnifying the negative events around us by awfulizing and catastrophizing our situation.

 

3. Dispute Irrational Belief.

The final step for squashing A.N.T.’s involves disputing irrational beliefs. What exactly is an irrational belief? It’s any anxiety provoking, fear producing thought that is not in alignment with reality. Thinking, “Everyone will laugh at me if I do poorly on this speech.” is one example of an irrational belief. To dispute this belief we might ask ourselves, “Will everyone really laugh at me?”. Probably not. Most errors and mistakes made by others are in reality, quickly forgotten.

Disputing irrational beliefs involve asking ourselves, “Where is the evidence for this?” and, “What proof do I have that this is true?”. Once an irrational belief is discovered, we can correct our error, think more clearly, and as a result, improve our overall mood.

Mark Twain once said, “My life has been filled with calamities, some of which actually happened.”. Unfortunately, this is true for many of us. Our lives are filled with calamities, but few of them have actually happened. In fact, researchers at the University of Cincinnati suggest that an astounding 85 percent of the things we worry about never happen.

This means the majority of us would be much better off if we disputed our irrational believes, stopped catastrophizing and awfulizing our situations, took the pressure off of ourselves by getting rid of our “shoulds” and “musts,” and squashed our A.N.T.’s.

As you can imagine, this is an especially important message for communicators. Squashing A.N.T.’s is important because it is a powerful way of increasing confidence. If you have a valuable message to share, don’t let fear hold you back. Get rid of the stinking thinking and start communicating  your message with others today!