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When critiquing someone else it always good to get your point across while staying positive. Even though this may be tough at some points, you can always work at being uplifting towards others. Remember that staying positive is always more beneficial than being negative. It sets the stage for positive reinforcement.
So, here are three ways to stay more positive while still getting your point across:
1. Use the “oreo cookie technique”.
This just means that you use two positive things to surround the item that you are critiquing.
A short example of this would be:
“Wow, you are doing a great job here. I have noticed this. You really have impressed me here.”
The first and last things that the person hears are positive and they will still remember the point you are trying to get across. It is effective for everyone involved. You are able to critique while making yourself look at the positive traits of that person. This technique is rewarding for everyone involved.
2. Avoid using the word, “but”.
This is the one word that cancels out the positive things that you have to say.
When you say the word “but” in a sentence, the person you are talking to tends to only hear the things that you say after the word, “but”. Find other words to use to connect your points and make your discussion easier to digest for the recipient.
3. Reward the things that you want repeated.
The healthiest part of giving critique happens afterwards. When the behavior happens that you want to see, the best thing that you can do is recognize and reward it. This will bring those things out of the person time and time again.
Is giving others critique easy or difficult for you? You can leave your comment below.
Ellory Wells says
Critiquing can often be difficult for me. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have any leg to stand on, however, critiquing is part of coaching. In Now, Discover Your Strengths, Marcus Buckingham quotes Carl Jung who said,
Criticism has “the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved or reduced, but [it is] capable only of harm when there is something to be built.”
I found that interesting when I read that this morning. We should focus more on our strengths and less on our weaknesses.
Thanks for the article!
Adam Smith says
That’s good stuff man.
Ellory Wells says
Critiquing can often be difficult for me. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have any leg to stand on, however, critiquing is part of coaching. In “Now, Discover Your Strengths,” Marcus Buckingham quotes Carl Jung who said,
Criticism has “the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved or reduced, but [it is] capable only of harm when there is something to be built.”
I found that interesting when I read that this morning. We should focus more on our strengths and less on our weaknesses.
Thanks for the article!
Adam Smith says
That’s good stuff man.