Photo Credit: MikeBehnken via Compfight cc
Good communication is well thought out, planned, and practiced. Just ask Tony Kornhieser and Michael Wilbon, hosts of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption (my favorite show on ESPN). Since 2001, they have won awards and increased their viewership with every segment, argument, and yes, costume. But it isn’t all fun and games. Their seemingly spontaneous banter is anything but spontaneous. It is well thought and planned.
In an interview in 2011 with Sports Business Daily celebrating the show’s ten year anniversary, when asked about his involvement in creating the show segments like:
“Happy Time” “Toss Up” “What’s the Word” “Over or Under” “Mail Time” “Something or Nothing” “Report Card” “Five Good Minutes” “Good Cop/Bad Cop” “Big Finish”
Wilbon said, “I don’t have any interest in being involved in that because the device is the same. Whatever it’s called that day, whether we play “Oddsmakers” or “Toss Up,” it’s essentially just a way to get us into a discussion. I’m intimately involved in the discussion in terms of what we’re going to discuss.”
Interesting! On a show whose appeal relies heavily on the spontaneous banter, these men are teaching us that we have to prepare our message no matter what the stage.
In the words of Allen Iverson, “Practice! We talking about practice?”
Preparation is the key to being spontaneous and genuine! (Tweet That)
It sounds counter intuitive. But it isn’t. I tell a story in my listening workshop about a college basketball player, who after learning the steps raised his hands in objection. He told my, then boss, “Ma’am. I will never use that.” She asked, “why not?” He said, “Because I don’t talk like that. If I ever used those words, people will joke me.” She replied, “Ok. What words would you use?” He then found words that fit his personality and vernacular.
When you know the point you are trying to make, you can experiment with tailoring the strategy to fit you. And you do that in practice.
Benefits of communication practice:
1. Exposes real motives
Before we speak, we need to make sure we know our real motives. Good words, spoken from bad motives, are destructive. (Tweet That). Ask yourself, why I am saying this?
2. Identifies problems.
Practicing helps identify the problems you have with the message and allows you to change it. Perhaps you think the words you chose are perfect but when practiced on another set of ears, they sound harsh.
3. Creates mental muscle memory.
Practicing helps your body get accustomed to the words they are going to deliver. The more you practice, the more comfortable you are. And the more comfortable you are, the more you can focus on the moment of delivery.
Think about it this way. The actress in the latest thriller has rehearsed the scene dozens of times. She knows EXACTLY where the monster is during the whole flick. Yet, when she sticks her head around the corner, she has to convince us that she doesn’t know what is going to happen next. How can she do this? Preparation! Because she rehearsed and rehearsed… and rehearsed. When it was time to perform, she could just be free in the moment.
We should always be prepared, but not every situation needs to be thoroughly practiced.
You probably don’t need to practice saying good morning to your sweetie. But you definitely need to practice before telling him or her that you are not ready to take your relationship to the next level.
Here are a few situations that should always be practiced before delivery:
- Beginning or ending a relationship
- Addressing a sensitive, taboo, or highly controversial topics
- Confronting someone about their behavior
- Asking for something important like a promotion or raise
- Giving bad news
- Any topic that elicits strong emotions
Adequate preparation time depends on the person and situation. Regardless, remember good communication is well thought out and practiced. After you have practiced, you are free!
What others situations would you add to this list? You can leave your comment here.
Public speaking opportunities. That’s the main one that comes to mind for me.
Good one, Adam! Absolutely!
Public speaking opportunities. That’s the main one that comes to mind for me.
Good one, Adam! Absolutely!
Hi Julia, good morning!
Nicely put!
For me it’s a mix of that list: engaging parents to discus different treatment strategies and possible outcomes regarding their child health. It’s on the program that in the last year is one of your responsibilities. However, we tend to think that because we saw it for the last 2 years we have learnt it and fail to prepare. It usually goes well, but it could go much more better.
Thanks and enjoy the longer weekend.
Diego.
ps: I left you an email on asmithblog inbox about that leaders topic we talked last week. Let me know if you got it.
Please send that again Diego. Thanks bud!
You’re right Diego. Thanks! and enjoy the weekend too. ps. I didn’t get an email.
Hi Julia, good morning!
Nicely put!
For me it’s a mix of that list: engaging parents to discus different treatment strategies and possible outcomes regarding their child health. It’s on the program that in the last year is one of your responsibilities. However, we tend to think that because we saw it for the last 2 years we have learnt it and fail to prepare. It usually goes well, but it could go much more better.
Thanks and enjoy the longer weekend.
Diego.
ps: I left you an email on asmithblog inbox about that leaders topic we talked last week. Let me know if you got it.
Please send that again Diego. Thanks bud!
You’re right Diego. Thanks! and enjoy the weekend too. ps. I didn’t get an email.
This is good stuff right here, Julia!
Thanks Jackie!
This is good stuff right here, Julia!
Thanks Jackie!
Great post Julia. I sometimes forget that I have to practice. I might get wrapped up into thinking that because I know the material that I will just be able to spew it out come showtime, no matter the situation. I really like your Tweet about preparation, it’s spot on.
Here’s the Iverson vid.
http://youtu.be/eGDBR2L5kzI
Leo, you are like most people. We think since we know what we want to say, we’ll be able to say it when the time comes. But if you ever walked away from an interaction saying “Oh shoot, I should have said….” then you know we don’t always do it.
LOL! Yes, I watched the video in preparation for writing this post 🙂 it is still funny!
Great post Julia. I sometimes forget that I have to practice. I might get wrapped up into thinking that because I know the material that I will just be able to spew it out come showtime, no matter the situation. I really like your Tweet about preparation, it’s spot on.
Here’s the Iverson vid.
http://youtu.be/eGDBR2L5kzI
Leo, you are like most people. We think since we know what we want to say, we’ll be able to say it when the time comes. But if you ever walked away from an interaction saying “Oh shoot, I should have said….” then you know we don’t always do it.
LOL! Yes, I watched the video in preparation for writing this post 🙂 it is still funny!
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