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I will never forget the first time that one of my college professors shared that he believed in my writing. I had to write a paper on American Literature for a college class and my professor told me it was the best paper he had read in twelve years of teaching the class. What did that one small gesture do? It didn’t make me have some huge ego, but it did do one thing. It encouraged me to write more. It encouraged me to start believing in myself when it came to my writing. It helped me think that I could actually do this more often and people might read it. Why? Because someone who knew what good writing was actually believed in me and my writing.
So, what does this story teach all of us about encouraging others?
A few things, actually…
1. Surround yourself with experts in the field that you want to succeed in.
Not only that, but those people you choose need to be those who believe in you and who tell you often what you excel in. That professor of mine was a great writer himself and reminded me of where I excelled in repeatedly throughout the year, not just in one instance. Even though I knew I loved writing a that time, he encouraged me to keep going when I was discouraged. That is what someone who really cares about you will do for you.
You will know who you want your mentors to be by this quality. They should know where to coach you and they should be able to recognize where help is needed to succeed. A great coach will be able to show the direction that needs to be taken from where you currently are. This is another reminder for you to find great mentors.
What roadblocks are keeping you from having a great mentor in you life?
2. Encourage others in public.
When my professor bragged on me, it was always done in public. My work was shown as an example and he always made sure to give others praise in public as well. So on the other hand, take the freedom and the lead to tell those around you in what areas they excel in. We talk a lot about finding mentors, but have you ever thought about becoming someone else’s mentor? To do this, start preparing now. The key is to repeat the qualities that you look for in a mentor for yourself. Learn to encourage and inspire others now, so when someone asks you to be their mentor, you are ready. These are learned, practiced qualities that will help others succeed.
What are you doing today to make these regular habits in your life?
3. Believing takes you farther.
When others believe in you it is contagious. You start believing in yourself when this happens. And when belief is instilled that you can do something, there isn’t much that can stop you. Repeated encouragement produces results. i believe that you can do what you practice at and set your mind to.
The more you believe in yourself and others, the easier it is to succeed.
The story I told you about my college professor doesn’t just apply to writing. No matter who you are or what you do, these simple principles can be used. Find ways to apply encouragement to your daily life and recognize the difference it makes. You can start by encouraging someone else today.
Who in your life has encouraged you to keep going and how did that help you in your situation? You can leave your comment below.
The importance of mentors is something that should be taught in every high school and college. At my first job out of college, the management was supportive of junior staff, but completely uninterested in mentoring and developing talent in us. I threw up my hands and resigned myself to believing that some people end up with mentors and others don’t and that I had just missed the boat.
I would venture to say that this mistake of mine easily set my career back by at least four years. If you look at almost any successful individual, you will always find mentors (plural!) in their life.
When I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and proactively seek and find mentors on my own outside of work, my career, and my life for that matter, took off.
A lot of people think mentors are only for the young, but this is false. If you don’t have a mentor then it’s time to find one.
Sorry the first time I read that, I saw that you threw up in your hands. haha. Had to reread.Gotcha now. Absolutely. Mentors are essential for anyone wanting to go somewhere. So true.
The importance of mentors is something that should be taught in every high school and college. At my first job out of college, the management was supportive of junior staff, but completely uninterested in mentoring and developing talent in us. I threw up my hands and resigned myself to believing that some people end up with mentors and others don’t and that I had just missed the boat.
I would venture to say that this mistake of mine easily set my career back by at least four years. If you look at almost any successful individual, you will always find mentors (plural!) in their life.
When I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and proactively seek and find mentors on my own outside of work, my career, and my life for that matter, took off.
A lot of people think mentors are only for the young, but this is false. If you don’t have a mentor then it’s time to find one.
Sorry the first time I read that, I saw that you threw up in your hands. haha. Had to reread.Gotcha now. Absolutely. Mentors are essential for anyone wanting to go somewhere. So true.
I so agree- part of that includes being brave enough to share what your true goals and dreams are. I realize that I surround myself with those people, but then fear that they’ll laugh at my dreams if I told them how big they truly are.
Absolutely. Trust is essential for these types of relationships. It feels funny to share your biggest dreams with others, but that what these mentor relationships are about. Being able to share your dreams openly with your mentors. Thanks for reading, Anita. (If you ever want to share your biggest dreams, let me know. I won’t laugh.)
Here I go… I want to share my story and inspire people on a much bigger scale than I am now, with a concrete goal of speaking to at least 5 groups in the next 12 months. I write a blog and I speak to small groups occasionally, but only when the opportunity plops itself in my lap . I’m comfortable speaking and love speaking, but HATE to put myself out there and ask people to have me come speak. I don’t like selling myself. But this is my passion and mission and I believe that those who have me will be thankful they did.
And that is my ‘side job’ (for now- a longer term goal is to change that)- in my real life I have a goal of rising to a VP level and need concrete steps to make that happen, which means sharing that goal with my boss so he can help guide me. I want to stay in my current industry, and it’s all who you know- and he knows everyone.
Thanks for being willing to ask and listen to my dreams!
Bravo for sharing and wait….I don’t hear anyone laughing! What is the name of your blog? What topics do you like speaking about most?
Julia
Losing Austin, Finding Myself anitadavissullivan.com
My brother has been missing for six years next week, and our search for him plus coping with my husband’s chronic disabling illness is the core of my story- but it’s really about finding Hope through all of that. I speak about my story and how we find Hope, and how others can find Hope in their own darkness. I also like to speak on how to find your story and your passion and have an impact through that. I’ve worked for non-profits and now for a company that provides software to non-profits, so encouraging people to use their stories to help others is truly a passion.
I love it. Thank you for sharing your story and your goals. The first part is writing them down and then telling others until it doesn’t feel weird saying it out loud. That’s when you know that you have embraced the dream fully. As far as speaking goes, you aren’t selling yourself, you are simply stepping into the role of who you are. You are a speaker, so if that is what you want to do as a profession, start speaking. That’s just part of the gig and there’s my encouragement on that. And as far as being a VP, it seems you are well on your way. Asking your boss to guide you is huge!! Sounds like you know exactly what to do. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement!
Anita, you nailed a struggle of mine. I wanted to be on the fringe of the conversation and only recently was brave enough to join in and be noticed.
Julia, I know that feeling- I like being noticed, but don’t ever want to feel like it’s because I’m saying, “hey, look at me!” but instead because it just happens out of good being done. I’m trying to figure out how to balance that.
What are your dreams?
Anita, it is Julia. Apparently when I use my computer it posts under my Twitter name. Anyway, I was thinking and praying about this just today. I believe there is a severe deficiency in open and honest interpersonal communication skill use. Most people just think because they talk, they communicate. I am passionate about helping others have a better relationship with God, themselves, and others. My blog and business is all about giving people the relational skills and strategies they need to be a person of influence and character at home and at work. My dream is to a go source for wise counsel on how to improve communications in the real world. I am trying to surround myself with like minded people.
There definitely is and I love the concept of your blog. It is so needed!
When you aren’t trying to be noticed for something and you still are, it is a good sign that you are gifted in a specific area.
I love this statement. “I wanted to be in.”
I so agree- part of that includes being brave enough to share what your true goals and dreams are. I realize that I surround myself with those people, but then fear that they’ll laugh at my dreams if I told them how big they truly are.
Absolutely. Trust is essential for these types of relationships. It feels funny to share your biggest dreams with others, but that what these mentor relationships are about. Being able to share your dreams openly with your mentors. Thanks for reading, Anita. (If you ever want to share your biggest dreams, let me know. I won’t laugh.)
Here I go… I want to share my story and inspire people on a much bigger scale than I am now, with a concrete goal of speaking to at least 5 groups in the next 12 months. I write a blog and I speak to small groups occasionally, but only when the opportunity plops itself in my lap . I’m comfortable speaking and love speaking, but HATE to put myself out there and ask people to have me come speak. I don’t like selling myself. But this is my passion and mission and I believe that those who have me will be thankful they did.
And that is my ‘side job’ (for now- a longer term goal is to change that)- in my real life I have a goal of rising to a VP level and need concrete steps to make that happen, which means sharing that goal with my boss so he can help guide me. I want to stay in my current industry, and it’s all who you know- and he knows everyone.
Thanks for being willing to ask and listen to my dreams!
Bravo for sharing and wait….I don’t hear anyone laughing! What is the name of your blog? What topics do you like speaking about most?
Julia
Losing Austin, Finding Myself anitadavissullivan.com
My brother has been missing for six years next week, and our search for him plus coping with my husband’s chronic disabling illness is the core of my story- but it’s really about finding Hope through all of that. I speak about my story and how we find Hope, and how others can find Hope in their own darkness. I also like to speak on how to find your story and your passion and have an impact through that. I’ve worked for non-profits and now for a company that provides software to non-profits, so encouraging people to use their stories to help others is truly a passion.
I love it. Thank you for sharing your story and your goals. The first part is writing them down and then telling others until it doesn’t feel weird saying it out loud. That’s when you know that you have embraced the dream fully. As far as speaking goes, you aren’t selling yourself, you are simply stepping into the role of who you are. You are a speaker, so if that is what you want to do as a profession, start speaking. That’s just part of the gig and there’s my encouragement on that. And as far as being a VP, it seems you are well on your way. Asking your boss to guide you is huge!! Sounds like you know exactly what to do. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement!
Anita, you nailed a struggle of mine. I wanted to be on the fringe of the conversation and only recently was brave enough to join in and be noticed.
Julia, I know that feeling- I like being noticed, but don’t ever want to feel like it’s because I’m saying, “hey, look at me!” but instead because it just happens out of good being done. I’m trying to figure out how to balance that.
What are your dreams?
Anita, it is Julia. Apparently when I use my computer it posts under my Twitter name. Anyway, I was thinking and praying about this just today. I believe there is a severe deficiency in open and honest interpersonal communication skill use. Most people just think because they talk, they communicate. I am passionate about helping others have a better relationship with God, themselves, and others. My blog and business is all about giving people the relational skills and strategies they need to be a person of influence and character at home and at work. My dream is to a go source for wise counsel on how to improve communications in the real world. I am trying to surround myself with like minded people.
There definitely is and I love the concept of your blog. It is so needed!
When you aren’t trying to be noticed for something and you still are, it is a good sign that you are gifted in a specific area.
I love this statement. “I wanted to be in.”
Adam, I couldn’t agree with you more! The dream I am pursuing right now is to teach people the importance and power of leaving nothing unsaid. I really encourage people to look past the surface things…the things that others do FOR us, and really affirm a person’s greatest character qualities, strengths, and abilities. My web site is http://www.LeaveNothingUnsaid.com if you want to take a peek!
I have a watering can in my logo because I believe that our words of encouragement can really help others to blossom. Your English professor is a perfect example!
love this. Encouragement is so important and there just aren’t enough people that embrace this concept. Bravo, Jody!
Adam, I couldn’t agree with you more! The dream I am pursuing right now is to teach people the importance and power of leaving nothing unsaid. I really encourage people to look past the surface things…the things that others do FOR us, and really affirm a person’s greatest character qualities, strengths, and abilities. My web site is http://www.LeaveNothingUnsaid.com if you want to take a peek!
I have a watering can in my logo because I believe that our words of encouragement can really help others to blossom. Your English professor is a perfect example!
love this. Encouragement is so important and there just aren’t enough people that embrace this concept. Bravo, Jody!
I had a nonlinear career path. Once I finally found what I wanted to do, I sort of stalked my mentor. She owned a small business and couldn’t afford to hire me. So I asked if I could sit in on her work sessions and accompanied her on assignments on my time. Eventually something opened up and that was my first job in my industry. I needed to be around someone who believed in me because I questioned my own talent. Recently a graduate student started doing the same thing to me. Encouragement is a gift that keeps giving!
Again, someone who wanted in. I love this concept. The most important moment was knowing who and then one more important step… all you had to do was ask. (or stalk.) It’s also a defining moment when someone else wants you to be their mentor. It means you’re doing something right!
I had a nonlinear career path. Once I finally found what I wanted to do, I sort of stalked my mentor. She owned a small business and couldn’t afford to hire me. So I asked if I could sit in on her work sessions and accompanied her on assignments on my time. Eventually something opened up and that was my first job in my industry. I needed to be around someone who believed in me because I questioned my own talent. Recently a graduate student started doing the same thing to me. Encouragement is a gift that keeps giving!
Again, someone who wanted in. I love this concept. The most important moment was knowing who and then one more important step… all you had to do was ask. (or stalk.) It’s also a defining moment when someone else wants you to be their mentor. It means you’re doing something right!
I also feel as though there’s a difference between someone wanting you to succeed and someone who thinks you should be successful. To me, that is just as toxic as someone who feels threatened by your success. Fear instead of pride.
I’m curious Kevin, what do mean when you say someone wanting you to succeed is just as toxic someone who feels threatened by your success. That’s an interesting point. Please expound.
I would say it’s the difference between expectation vs. mentorship. I’ve had people who are supposed to be “mentors” or “leaders” that do not guide. Instead, they insist that you should be doing better because they know how talented you are. Rather than empowering growth it discourages the person it is intended for. I end up feeling like I’m lost or doing something wrong, because according to that “mentor,” I should be more successful.
I recall a phrase I learned in a sales course that said, “Build value in the product.” That’s how you justify a price premium. I must have heard this 100 times from key people above me with no guidance or mentorship to help define the HOW.
Without guidance, mentors are simply people with expectations that you stress about disappointing.
Ah! I see. Yes, the lack of actionable feedback is a sure deterrent to generating the energy and creativity to find a better solution. I advise people to give feedback they can use.
“You have horrible bedside manner” is not actionable.It is an observation. “You could improve your bedside manner by smiling more” is something the receiver can work on. Without it, you are right, you are just creating frustrations and toxic build up in that person. Thanks for explaining!
Julia
Absolutely! Good discussion. 🙂
It’s funny that what would seem to be a glaringly obvious attribute is so epically absent in many “mentors.”
Good discussion here. Some really good points Kevin. Looks like a mentor series would be a good one here on the blog.
Adam,
Totally agree. It would be a great addition to an already fantastic blog!
I also feel as though there’s a difference between someone wanting you to succeed and someone who thinks you should be successful. To me, that is just as toxic as someone who feels threatened by your success. Fear instead of pride.
I’m curious Kevin, what do mean when you say someone wanting you to succeed is just as toxic someone who feels threatened by your success. That’s an interesting point. Please expound.
I would say it’s the difference between expectation vs. mentorship. I’ve had people who are supposed to be “mentors” or “leaders” that do not guide. Instead, they insist that you should be doing better because they know how talented you are. Rather than empowering growth it discourages the person it is intended for. I end up feeling like I’m lost or doing something wrong, because according to that “mentor,” I should be more successful.
I recall a phrase I learned in a sales course that said, “Build value in the product.” That’s how you justify a price premium. I must have heard this 100 times from key people above me with no guidance or mentorship to help define the HOW.
Without guidance, mentors are simply people with expectations that you stress about disappointing.
Ah! I see. Yes, the lack of actionable feedback is a sure deterrent to generating the energy and creativity to find a better solution. I advise people to give feedback they can use.
“You have horrible bedside manner” is not actionable.It is an observation. “You could improve your bedside manner by smiling more” is something the receiver can work on. Without it, you are right, you are just creating frustrations and toxic build up in that person. Thanks for explaining!
Julia
Absolutely! Good discussion. 🙂
It’s funny that what would seem to be a glaringly obvious attribute is so epically absent in many “mentors.”
Good discussion here. Some really good points Kevin. Looks like a mentor series would be a good one here on the blog.