I first became aware of John G. Miller and his message of personal accountability while listening to the Dave Ramsey Show and associated EntreLeadership podcast. John has been spreading the message about personal accountability since 1995. When I heard Dave talk about John’s book “QBQ: The Question Behind the Question”, I was immediately intrigued.
I thought ‘Hey! I know more than a few people this message is for!’.
But that isn’t how John wants us to think. The message of personal accountability focuses on looking for the question behind the question. That is, asking the second question in response to what he calls are IQ’s, or Incorrect Questions. Some good examples of Incorrect Questions look like this:
Why do we have to go through all this change?
When are they going to train me?
These are questions that invoke victim thinking. Asking these types of questions throws blame unto someone else. There are three simple guidlines for creating a QBQ. They are:
1. Begin with “What” or “How” (not “Why,” “When,” or “Who”)
2. Contain an “I” (not “they,” “we,” or “you”)
3. Focus on action
When we have created the right QBQ, it puts the power back into our own hands. So if we take the IQs from earlier and seek out the QBQ, we might come up with a couple new questions such as:
How can I better cope with this changing environment?
What can I do to ensure I get the training I need?
Do you see what happened there? By asking the right questions and finding the QBQ, we are able to take control again.
How QBQ Ruined My Life
So, how did QBQ ruin my life?
Ok, so my life isn’t in shambles because I read the book. What I mean is that my life as I previously knew it when it comes to victim thinking and blame, is now gone. No longer am I able to face a situation and look for a way to somehow put the blame on someone or something else. When I start looking for the question behind the question, the finger always comes pointing right back at me.
Boy was I wrong when I first thought, “Hey, this is something a few other people need to get on board with.” I never thought I was that person that used blame and victim thinking to curb situations. When I started looking for the QBQ, I found out that I was not as in tune with personal accountability as I thought I was.
Just as Dave has, I too will at any time and at every opportunity recommend this book as required reading by every leader out there. If there is one concept we should grasp as great leaders, it is this message of personal accountability. I am so enthralled by John’s message that I have the book in paper format, on Kindle, and on Audible too. This isn’t one of those books you read and put back on the shelf to gaze over the binding when looking for another book. No, you go back to it and you read it again.
I am now finding myself looking for these QBQs every day. I have not been perfect, but I have gotten real good at squashing the IQs before they even have a chance to show face.
I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book if you have not done so already. It will change your life and the way you view Incorrect Questions.
asmithblog says
Loving QBQ so far Leo. Haven’t finished it quite yet, but really good thoughts. I agree with you that this is one of the most important mindset changes that leaders can have. Great advice.
Leo J. Lampinen says
Thank you Adam, glad to hear you’re enjoying it. It is definitely at the top of my list.
asmithblog says
Loving QBQ so far Leo. Haven’t finished it quite yet, but really good thoughts. I agree with you that this is one of the most important mindset changes that leaders can have. Great advice.
Leo J. Lampinen says
Thank you Adam, glad to hear you’re enjoying it. It is definitely at the top of my list.
Julia Winston says
Victim thinking is so sneaky we don’t even know we are doing it. It’s been a while since I read QBQ, time to dig it out again!
Leo J. Lampinen says
You’re so right. It can sneak up real fast if you’re not paying attention.
I’ll often say to myself “Am I asking the right question here?”
qbqjohn says
Julia, you’ll be amazed what another read or two of my QBQ! can do! Honored!
Julia Winston says
Victim thinking is so sneaky we don’t even know we are doing it. It’s been a while since I read QBQ, time to dig it out again!
Leo J. Lampinen says
You’re so right. It can sneak up real fast if you’re not paying attention.
I’ll often say to myself “Am I asking the right question here?”
qbqjohn says
Leo and friends, thanks for reading and practicing QBQ! Just darn good stuff, and supports any goal we have in life. Financial, professional, relational, physical – doesn’t matter, QBQ! works! Stop over at http://www.QBQ.com and say hello! Thanks, Leo!
Leo J. Lampinen says
John, thank you so much for stopping by and joining the discussion. And thank you for all that you’re doing, keep up the great work!
QBQ works!
qbqjohn says
Leo, welcome. Thanks for helping us “QBQ! the World”!!!
qbqjohn says
Leo and friends, thanks for reading and practicing QBQ! Just darn good stuff, and supports any goal we have in life. Financial, professional, relational, physical – doesn’t matter, QBQ! works! Stop over at http://www.QBQ.com and say hello! Thanks, Leo!
Leo J. Lampinen says
John, thank you so much for stopping by and joining the discussion. And thank you for all that you’re doing, keep up the great work!
QBQ works!
asmithblog says
Thanks for stopping by, John! Really enjoying it so far. Just started reading it from a copy Leo sent me.
qbqjohn says
Adam, was happy to. be good!
qbqjohn says
Me again. Please don’t forget the QBQ! companion book, Flipping the Switch! It takes QBQ! to “the next level.”
http://www.amazon.com/Flipping-Switch-Unleash-Personal-Accountability/dp/0399152954/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_z
Leo J. Lampinen says
This is one I haven’t made it to yet, but it is definitely on the list. Also, Parenting the QBQ Way, another great read.
Daniel Kosmala says
Leo, love the post! Sounds like a book I need to read this year! I’m shooting for reading a book per week and I’m still on track so far! Hopefully I can work this one in there!
Leo J. Lampinen says
Thank you Daniel. I admire your persistence, that’s a heavy goal but I know you can do it. This is definitely one you shouldn’t miss, get on it!
Dan Forbes says
My list of books to read just got longer. Thanks, Leo.
Leo J. Lampinen says
Happy to be of assistance Dan, you ought to move this one up on the list.
qbqjohn says
Leo, thanks! If you’ve read the new parenting book, Karen and I would LOVE for you to write a 5 star review here?!: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-QBQ-Expanded-Edition-Accountability/dp/0399161929/ref=pd_sim_b_2
Leo J. Lampinen says
Will do John, I sometimes forget to reciprocate in that way. I made a note and will take care of that this week.
I was lucky enough to get a signed copy when you were doing the release, then bought the Kindle version too.