It is easier to ask forgiveness than ask for permission.
Have you ever heard this saying? Or the variations thereof like:
- Don’t ask for permission when forgiveness is easier.
- I’d rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.
- If it’s a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.
- Better to say sorry than to ask permission.
- Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Break the rules if it is best for the team, then say “sorry.” Be accountable for results, not processes.
Over the last few weeks, you have been getting to know me through my writing. I have been getting to know you through your comments. Today I want to get to know you through your writing.
I am issuing YOU a challenge.
In this challenge YOU provide the wisdom, the lesson, the points and tips for your fellow reader. Come on! I know you its in there. Imagine you were being asked to give advice on the statement. What would you say? Give your point of view, spin, and observation based on your knowledge and experience. Write as much or as little as you want.
Ready?
Here is the challenge statement for today:
It is easier to ask forgiveness than ask for permission.
Set? Think about the times you’ve heard it said. Think about the times you’ve said it. What message does this statement communicate? Is that the message you want to send? Do you think this statement is true or false? Why or why not?
Go!
Leave your comment below.Like and reply to other comments. Comments are like little presents we all get to open. So let’s freely give.
Hey, Julia. Great post. Yes, I have said it before, but don’t even like what it’s saying. Ha. It’s communicating dishonesty in my opinion. Maybe I am reading too far into it, but it’s definitely not the message I want to be sending. Thanks for making me think about this one.
Hey Julia! Very insightful. Something that I don’t feel our conscience self thinks about as much as our sub-conscience self. I think my sub-conscience mind is lazier and doesn’t think of the outcomes as much as my conscience mind which always yells, “Put in the work now, you’ll be thankful later”.
There are lots of things that I agree with, but I don’t think they are morally right. This is one of those! I think it IS easier, but it’s not BETTER.
I’m with Adam where I think I read too much into things.
Sorry for rambling! Great topic, I’m going to try and think about this when I’m doing something I will be apologizing for later!
1st: Great post idea Julia! 2nd: I’ll try to be brief as you’ve asked a great question!
I think this statement is one of ownership…
The idea of “I am going to own this decision.” Instead of waiting for permission and giving ownership and responsibility to somebody else (the good and bad), I “got it,” and everything that comes with it. If it goes well, all is good, and that is easy. If it blows up I will take full responsibility, apologize, or do whatever else is needed to make it a better situation.
Great question Julia! I think we all hear some variation of this at some point. And while I’ve been guilty a time or two in my life of behaving this way, I genuinely try to avoid it. And here’s why: it’s direct insubordination.
Whether between family members, spouses, co-workers, or others, if you have to ask for forgiveness it’s because you deliberately did what you weren’t supposed to do. And the long term repercussions are always worse than the short term gain.
I’ve had some penny-pinching bosses who never wanted us to spend any money and it’s easier to go out and buy what you need to do your job and apologize after the fact. But here’s the problem with that – now your boss resents you and is watching over you more closely to make sure you don’t do it again. Who wants that? It might be “harder” in the short run to ask for permission, explain your needs, and justify your purpose. But they will respect you for coming to them, talking about it, and making a mutual decision going forward. And, they’ll trust your future judgments more, knowing that you aren’t trying to go behind their back.
Whatever the person’s reasons for saying “no” to something, they have a reason. And if you don’t talk to them and work through the options, you’ll never know why they make the choices they make.
To me, the act of asking for forgiveness rather than permission is lazy, rude, and inconsiderate. IMHO.
This great stuff! Keep it coming. You know I have some opinions about this but it isn’t about my thoughts today. I will write a summary comment at the end of the day of what everyone has said. So get your friends in on the discussion too!
It may be easier to ask for forgiveness, but it is difficult to build trust that way. Just because you are feeling froggy and can jump, doesn’t mean you should.
I’ve said it before. I’ve heard other say it before. I’ve acted it out. I’ve seen others act it out. But you know, it never feels right. My stance now days is primarily to come up with a solution and clearly state what I’m going to do. This shows the other party that you’ve thought it out and made a decision. Plus it gives them the opportunity to shoot back and blast holes in your decision. Not exactly helpful all the time, but opens the discussion. Some people work for a manager (ugh) and so won’t be empowered to act on their own, hence the reason to even consider going the forgiveness route to begin with.
Thank you to everyone who accepted the challenge today. You can still comment of course but here is my summary of your thoughts.
It sounds like a lot you have used this phrase as way to justify an action that needed to be done. Yet, there is “something” about it that just didn’t sit well with you.
Adam called that “something” dishonesty. Jenn called it insubordination. There seems to be something inherently dishonest about knowingly doing something you probably won’t get permission for.
Courtney pointed out though consciously we want to do what is right, our subconscious tells us to look for the easy way.
Jackie suggested that ownership is at stake. You own your decisions. You have to live with them and yourself.
LeaderVitamin notes that poor leadership could be responsible for putting workers in the position to decide whether to ask for permission or forgiveness.
Socamom asks us to use a little self control. Just because we feel like it, doesn’t mean we should.
Obviously no one can tell you what you should or should not do. These comments hopefully get you thinking about the choices you make. What reputation do you want to have? Good communicators build bridges. You all suggest, if not directly state, that statements like the one in today’s challenge erode trust and makes it that much harder to build and maintain.
Great insight everyone! Thanks for accepting the challenge.
I agree with everybody. Thanks for the wonderfully different but surprisingly united responses to ponder. The best thing, to me, is that everyone demonstrated a conscience, which seems lacking in many instances, and is reassuring and refreshing.
For those interested in history and etymology this saying was coined by Grace Hopper who received her PHD from Yale in 1934. She was a pioneer in computer science and helped develop the first large scale automatic calculator in the 1940’s. I think if she had went through her life always asking for permission she wouldn’t have gotten anywhere. I think it was a necessary attitude for her to have backing those days particularly, but I believe it still rings true today in certain circumstances. Do what you believe is right for yourself and others in extreme circumstances, even if it goes against the grain.