Being a dad has been awesome. It’s only been two months, but I have found out some very important information in this short time. Before I tell you what this is, let me just say that kids are a blessing. The whole kid thing is so new and exciting for us. Colbie changes everyday which makes it even more exciting. She’s starting to smile which makes me smile. And tear up. I’ve been more emotional since she’s came into the world. Can’t quite figure that one out.
After saying all of this, the most important thing about parenting has to do with my marriage.
I’ve learned that you have to put your marriage before you kids no matter what. You’ve probably seen this done backwards by many families. I know I have. Kids control the parent’s schedule. Everything is centered around the kids. It becomes chaos to everyone. In fact you probably think that’s the way it’s supposed to happen.
But, my advice for new parents (from my short experience) would be to get back to normal as soon as possible. Put your spouse first.
I believe this is more difficult for the mother, than the dad. The closeness a mother has with her child is almost overwhelming, especially when they are so little. They look at mama with wonder in their eyes, unlike the husband who looks only with wonder as to when it’s his turn! Life will never be “normal” again. Time with the spouse at times must be scheduled or it simply won’t happen. Women, it’s up to you to keep your husband first, and remember the place in the home the children are to take! And husbands, may I encourage you to be patient with your young mothers. Help them out as much as possible. Help her make the time you so desire.
I believe this is more difficult for the mother, than the dad. The closeness a mother has with her child is almost overwhelming, especially when they are so little. They look at mama with wonder in their eyes, unlike the husband who looks only with wonder as to when it’s his turn! Life will never be “normal” again. Time with the spouse at times must be scheduled or it simply won’t happen. Women, it’s up to you to keep your husband first, and remember the place in the home the children are to take! And husbands, may I encourage you to be patient with your young mothers. Help them out as much as possible. Help her make the time you so desire.
Adam, as a 26+ year veteran of a marriage (six kids), this is hard but excellent advice to follow.
Adam, as a 26+ year veteran of a marriage (six kids), this is hard but excellent advice to follow.