The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
The Golden Rule is useful in having successful interactions with others, but many have replaced it with the Platinum Rule. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter which rule you use, as long as your motives are right.
In John C. Maxwell’s book, Be A People Person: Effective Leadership Through Relationships, he outlines how simple it is to treat others well. All you have to do is remember what you like others to do for you. You want others to:
Encourage you
Raise your hand if you don’t like being encouraged. Anyone? Who doesn’t like genuine heartfelt encouragement. And just as much as you like it, do you think the people in your life like it too?
The happiest people are those who have invested their time in others. The unhappiest people are those who wonder how the world is going to make them happy.” – John Maxwell
Appreciate you
Never being told “Thank you” or being acknowledged for your gifts shows a lack of appreciation. William James even says, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Forgive you
We want to be forgiven, so we must forgive. Unforgiveness called by any other name, like “holding a grudge” or “having a beef,” is still unforgiveness. Search your heart, get rid of any unforgiveness, and move forward.
Listen to you
Listening is the greatest skill you can develop. Being heard bonds us deeply to others.
The higher people go in management and the more authority they wield, the less they are forced to listen to others. Yet, their need to listen is greater than ever.” – John Maxwell
Understand you
Although you will never never be completely understood by everyone, you still want others to understand you, or at least make a good effort to understand. It feels great to be understood and keeps us vested in our relationships.
We all want and need to be encouraged, appreciated, listened to, forgiven, and understood. The Golden Rule works best when you consider the universal relational needs of others. And the Platinum Rule encourages us to ask, or find out how our subjects would like to be treated.
Golden Rule: Jenny needs to be encouraged. Platinum Rule: Find out how Jenny would like to receive that encouragement. Verbally? In a note? Publicly? Privately?
I love both rules and use them both. This is another fundamental that people have forgotten about.When you treat other people well, that tells me that you want others to treat you well. But if you treat people harshly, that tells me that you want others to treat you harshly. Matthew 7:12 provides such a timeless truth. Thanks for this great post, Julia. It really got me thinking.
I’ve never heard of the Platinum Rule, but I like it. It takes the focus away from me and puts it on others. There are plenty of instances where I can think of people doing what they think is best and not what the other person wants, leading to some real conflict (think family members).
Great post, Julia.
Really interesting post Julia! I’d never heard of the Platinum rule, but it makes sense especially in a business context.
If you really want to please a client or partner, do unto them as they would do unto themselves. Makes perfect sense. Take yourself out of the equation and focus on what the other person wants and make them happy. Great approach to take!
Thanks for this! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
A lay minister in an Episcopalian church, years ago, gave a sermon explaining her own version of “The Platinum Rule”, which was Jesus speaking to his disciples:
John 15:12 (NIV)
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
Because Jesus understands us best. And his love is higher. So therefore, he gave us his perfect standard to which to aspire.
That we love, and therefore treat, each other as he taught us. That our actions, from that love, would be perfect.
The platinum rule is just an overrated extension of the golden rule. I first heard of the former while working in healthcare, where it is rarely applied in reality. If you have the gold, you make the rules in healthcare.
Luke has the fuller context of the Golden Rule, which was written to Gentiles. Matthew was written to Jews, so it really didn’t need to be expanded upon. Luke was a friend of Paul who expanded on it in a major way. Becoming all things to all men (I Cor 9:19 …) is just one example.