This post is a special one by XXXChurch and 40 Days blogger, Nicole Wick.
We all have a story. I do, you do, my weird neighbor who shovels the snow off of his lawn does – we all have a story. I’m a storyteller and a story lover. I didn’t used to be. I thought that my story was dark and ugly. It scared me and made me think of cold nights and loneliness. I never believed that it was a story worth sharing. Who would want to hear it? Not only did it scare me, but I was sure it would scare others, too. Rather than share my real story, my authentic story, I recreated one that I thought people would like better. One that would make people like me better. I became a living, breathing, in the flesh Pick-A-Path book.
Do you remember those? Each story had multiple endings, and the outcome of the story depended on the decisions that you chose for the main character at different points in the book. I loved them. As I moved through my young adult life I would pause at all of my critical decision points trying to decide which path to take. Should I be true to myself and the life, family, and circumstances that God had given me? Or should I pick a different path – an alternate ending? The choice was usually quite simple: I wanted a different story. Frankly, I wanted someone else’s story, and at each of those decision points I would hold my breath, turn the page and step away from my adventure and into my fantasy. In the fantasy, I would be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, and the perfect woman in the perfect church. I picked the path that would allow me to hide orphanhood, abandonment, addiction, abuse and all of the other parts of my story that I believed were ugly and unflattering. I picked all of the outward adornments that I thought would make my story look beautiful – braided hair, gold jewelry, and fine clothes were my path (1 Peter 3:4).
Somewhere along the way, my perception of my story changed. It wasn’t the result of an altar call or flashing lights or tragedy. I think it was just the stuff of life — the process, if you will. Other authentic people started sharing their lives with me, and the paths they picked — paths full of hurt, misery, restoration, and rejoicing — weren’t ugly or scary. They were vibrant and beautiful narratives that made my fake, paper doll life look flat and boring. Then my story started to change and become re-formed. I started to see what the Spirt could do in authentic community. It changes lives and gives voice to our stories.
1 Corinthians 4:7 is such a well-known verse. In the NIV it says, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power comes from God and not from us.” In the Message it says, “If you look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us.”
There is no power in my gaudy, self-adorned, made up story. But my unadorned clay pot tells the story of an ordinary life that has experienced tragedy and pain and has received forgiveness and hope from an incomparable, all surpassing, powerful God. I’ve come to understand that the dusty, dirty, broken clay jar path is much more beautiful than any other path I could have ever taken. I’m so grateful to be on this journey, this authentic adventure, in this old, broken down vessel. And I pray that you will see the beauty in your clay pot story too.
This is absolutely the best challenge I have read in a long time. I have been uncomfortable for a while with what I knew was personal pretense. You have described so well the sin that it is. It is also something that keeps me from showing the glory of God. Thanks!
Beautiful
Thank you for sharing that, Nicole! We're all guilty of trying the "help" God by wanting to hide our former selves at some point in this journey. When we do it, we hide the true transforming power of God in our lives. Isaiah 64:6 tells us "We are all infected and impure with sin. When we proudly display our righteous deeds, we find they are but filthy rags…" (NLT). Thankfully, He accepts us "just as I am", and His transformation in us is a true testimony to His power.
Becky – Thank you so much.
Lauree and dwfaust- Your words are so kind. Thank you. A friend recently reminded me of a verse in Revelation (12:11) that says the only things that can triumph over the enemy is the blood of the lamb and the power of our testimony. When we hide our story we are hiding God.
Very good stuff.
Very well said Nicole. I have also found that what we think as ugly parts to our stories, are sometimes, true to God's nature, exactly where we can make a difference later on in life. It gives you to power to relate to those missing sheep, that has a similar story as you, and in the end, with God being able to use everything for His purposes, you are the one that leads that one specific missing one back to the safety of you Father.
Great post, I did a post on my site talking about church often being a masquerade and how sad that is.
We so often see Jesus meeting people where they are in a real way, then you go to church which should be the one place you feel comfortable being real, (even if it is an ugly story )but that is not always the case. Church should be a bunch of screwed up people forgiven and changed, inviting other imperfect people to meet the life changing Jesus.
this is such an awesome post. thanks for sharing this. I had a similar situation and can totally relate to your post. We live trying to put on a facade afraid of what people will think if we truly be ourselves with all of the good, the bad, and the ugly out in the open. I've learned that when we stop pretending, and stop listening to the lies of the enemy, and let go of that shame, healing begins (James 5:16). Rev 12:11 has been a source of inspiration for me; God uses every single part of our story to impact others. Our testimony is not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather, it is a source of freedom; it allows us to overcome. Not only is it a testament to our lives, but it can be a major tool in the lives of others. Thank you!
Wow. Thank you. This blesses me.
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I especially love the MSG translation of that scripture verse. Very beautiful
I do too. People who don;t think the MSG is "inspired" or whatever are really missing out 🙂
Saw Adam’s link to this on his Posterous site and I’m glad I clicked the link.
I also loved those Choose Your Own Adventure books as a child. And for many of my teenage years into young adulthood it served as almost a mantra. I could be what anyone wanted me to be but never true to myself. It was too painful, too embarrassing, too whatever-sounded-good-at-the-time to risk showing my faults, my inadequacies.
I remember changing when I had to work in a restaurant. Approaching strangers, taking orders, thinking quickly and lightheartedly in conversation with people made me reevaluate how I viewed myself. I realized I didn’t need other people’s approval to love myself. If I loved myself other people would approve. And if they didn’t, I was still comfortable with myself for the first time.
I thank God every day he helped me gain confidence in myself. And I certainly appreciate the way it happened. The particular situation I had with the owner of that restaurant provided the perfect setting for such an awakening to evolve. My life would certainly be different today if it hadn’t taken place in the way it did.
Isn't it funny how God works in what we consider 'the little things' in our lives? Thakns for this comment. It reminds me that God is doing his work of refining us ALL THE TIME.
Wow. Thanks for this nicole. God makes all things good!!!