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When I took the StrengthsFinder test, I found that my number one strength is “futuristic”. It’s truly my blessing and my curse. I always want to live in the future, curious as to what’ s next, but I have forced myself to analyze my past. Why? Because it’s necessary. Of course we don’t want to dwell on the negativity from our past because we can’t change what has already been done, but we can continually learn from it and change our lives from this one simple practice.
Here are the three main reasons I believe looking at your past is one of the most important things you can do:
1. Looking at your past helps ensure that bad history doesn’t repeat itself.
We all have times in life that didn’t turn out so well. The way we can all turn these negative experiences into positive ones is by not being afraid to look at the past. Although it may not be comfortable, we can work to not only look at the past, but to learn from it. James Burke said, “Why should we look to the past in order to prepare for the future? Because there is nowhere else to look.” We should look at both mistakes in the past and victories and take advantage of them, because we can.
But, the only way to know that bad history won’t repeat itself is by making changes now so the future won’t turn out the same way. Want to change your future? Begin making better choices right now.
2. Looking at your past gives you incredible stories to share with others.
Looking at your past not only improves your memory, but making this a regular practice helps you to never forget where you came from. I will again recommend journaling to be able to remember moments, but some of the best stories that I share now are from the far past. This is fun for me, because I can see what obstacles I have overcome to get where I am today. You have had to do the same thing in your own life, and it’s in these experiences that make you who you are.
Every time you don’t allow your past to be used in some way, you rob others from experiences you have already encountered. You already have valuable insight on situations that others may encounter along their journey, so you might as well begin using it for good. Share your past to help someone else’s future.
3. Looking at your past lets you know what you can improve.
Looking at your past tells you how well you have been working in your strengths and weaknesses. You’ve probably heard the definition of insanity before — it’s doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. Some people do this without even realizing it, and when they do this they get stuck in a monotonous cycle that leads to a rut.
Looking at the past in this way will tell you if you have been working towards your goals or not. Based on this analyzation you will have a good idea of what kind of improvements need to be made. If you have been working towards your goals, then that’s amazing. Keep it up! But if you’ve been heading the opposite direction, then by all means make the needed improvements now instead of “someday”. (That may be my least favorite word ever.)
Hi Adam! How’s it goin’? I loved this. My distant past is full of stories, some of which I am very ashamed of. I have written about my life many times. But looking back has helped me in many ways. As a matter of fact, in working on my memoir in 2014, I had some epiphanies that caused me to find further forgiveness for my parents, and even for myself. It has been a valuable experience. As a therapist, I often use my past to help my clients know that I truly “get it,” and they can freely tell me anything without fearing judgment. Great post, Adam. I’m sure your audience will find value here!
Linda, your comment sparks a couple of further thoughts in me, as well. On Adam’s Point #1 above, we can learn not only from our own past, but from looking at past family patterns and deciding to break them before they take root in us. We can learn from history and a rich past of literature on the whole, even beyond our own family, in order to make choices for ourselves without always having to “repeat the experiment” to get the point.
And as you alluded to, in conjunction with Point #2 above, looking to our past reminds us not only of the mistakes we’ve made, but of what we have come through and survived. As a mentor, whenever one of my kids or their families comes through something difficult, I encourage them to spend some concerted time storing the details of it away for the next time, whenever that may be.
Having myself survived abuse, heinous rumors, car wrecks, betrayal – I look to my past whenever some new trial or hurt threatens to upset my sense of well-being, and I remember, “I’ve faced worse than this before. I made it through. So as bad as this moment feels, I know I can make it through again now.”
Great points, Erik.
Hi Erik, You did make great points, and that’s exactly right….looking at our mistakes helps us not make them again, although it took me a very long time to understand this concept when it came to relationships! Now I’m a family therapist and work with couples and singles on looking at those family dynamics and quit looking to heal them over and over with other people. It can be done, but the other person needs to be extremely healthy. Great points.
Hi, Linda! It’s so good to hear from you. Sorry I haven’t reached out in awhile. I hope you’re doing well my friend. I just subscribed to your site so I can get your ebook. Can’t wait to dig in. I love what I already know of your story. It’s amazing!
Thanks for stopping by. Let me know if you ever need anything. 🙂
Hi back Adam. Thank! That lifted my spirits. I am still recovering from brain surgery but I AM recovering! I’m starting to get re-inspired to write, so thank you very much for subscribing! Talk to you again soon, my friend. :o)
I can’t even imagine what recovering from brain surgery is like. Get well soon!
I like number 2 the best Adam. I’m very big on sharing because it allows for some vulnerability and openness in communication but you have to be careful not to share too much. It can have reverse affects. I think it is important to remember that we don’t let our past identify ourselves. We should always follow up with how we grew from the experience or what we learned. You are right journaling is a great way to do that.
Even though I agree with your three reasons that past has a value, I’d set a strict limit, how long one should dwell in past. Let’s say max. 20% of productive time. I saw too many people wasting too much time talking about past and not moving forward. Especially politicians 🙂