I did a Google search for “marriage quotes.” The search returned over 500 million results. I clicked on a few, and discovered many quotes were negative, while many others were in jest. You would think marriage had no value today.
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In a society where divorce rates are roughly 50%, maybe that should be expected. Perhaps that simple Google search is a true reflection of what we do, and don’t value today.
Why get married in the first place?
Here are just a few of the quotes I found in the Google search.
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.”
“Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.”
Quotes like these made me think back to when I decided to get married. I had one friend who was married at the time. One. I had zero friends who wanted to get married. Zero.
And that isn’t just the male perspective. My wife didn’t have any friends who were married either. But we both had friends who were doing things married people do together. So, why even get married?
What’s the difference in marriage and today’s relationships?
In many relationships today people have children. They purchase houses and cars together. They become beneficiaries on insurance policies. That is pretty much what my wife and I have done in our marriage.
If you can do all the things that a married couple does, what difference does it make if you wear a wedding ring, state some vows, and sign some papers? It seems it doesn’t really add any additional value. But marriage is sacred, there has to be more than living together, sleeping together, and having debt together.
Placing a high value on marriage
How can we make our marriages more valuable than any other relationship we’ve had?
How can we make it special or sacred?
How can we give value to our marriage?
Perhaps if we did this we could increase the chances of our marriages lasting, and increase the overall numbers of lasting marriages. Below are some things that will help you and your spouse place a high value on your marriage, and ultimately make it last.
5 Things That Will Give Value to Your Marriage
- Friendship. Can you truly spend your life with someone you are not friends with? Friendship in marriage is crucial. A good friendship is developed through spending time, communicating, having disagreements, and being selfless. Truly good friends will value marriage.
- Commitment. A major difference in marriage and a dating relationship is commitment. “Breaking up” or not “seeing one another” was never part of the design in marriage. Committing to the marriage; committing to your spouse will give more value to that relationship than any other relationship you can end at any point.
- Delayed Gratification. We live in a right now society. We want, and many times get what we want instantly. Not in marriage. Good marriages are built over time. Love and respect is grown over time. Realizing the investment in your marriage today is going to produce better days in the future and will add value to your marriage.
- Intimacy. A mentor of mine defined intimacy as sharing something with a person that you don’t share with anyone else. So to be truly intimate in your marriage there needs to be some things only for your spouse. Saying and doing things reserved for this one person will add value to your marriage.
- Foundation. Any structure without a solid foundation will likely fall. A marriage must have a solid foundation. Your marriage foundation is what you believe about marriage in general, and your marriage specifically. That foundation must be the same. The marriage foundation my wife and I stand on is found in the Bible. Without it, our marriage would have fallen long ago. With it, value has been added to our marriage and it is truly precious to us.
There is value in marriage, but we have to see it. Reading the statistics, listening to those who devalue or disrespect marriage, or even doing “marriage stuff” without getting married can cause us to place little value on it.
Whether you are single or married, I encourage you to place a high value on marriage. After all, nobody wants anything that lacks value, especially a relationship intended to last a lifetime.
What else could add value to marriage? You can leave your comment below.
Communication. I don’t think you mention that one in the post, but it has been something my wife and I have been working on for the entirety of it. It has definitely added value to our marriage to effectively learn how to communicate with each other.
This is so important too. I think it’s really easy to forget about actually communicating and not just talking.
Yes, indeed. Communication is vital and valuable!
Communication. I don’t think you mention that one in the post, but it has been something my wife and I have been working on for the entirety of it. It has definitely added value to our marriage to effectively learn how to communicate with each other.
This is so important too. I think it’s really easy to forget about actually communicating and not just talking.
Yes, indeed. Communication is vital and valuable!
I needed to read this today, thanks for another great post. I really ought to print out those bullet points and staple them to my bald, shiny dome. I’ve been working so hard lately that I haven’t had much time or haven’t been intentional enough to work on these things in my marriage. I told my wife yesterday that if I got caught up today, we were definitely going to spend some time together tonight and watch a movie or something.
Nice, Leo. We all need the reminder.
Glad the timing was good for your Leo!
I needed to read this today, thanks for another great post. I really ought to print out those bullet points and staple them to my bald, shiny dome. I’ve been working so hard lately that I haven’t had much time or haven’t been intentional enough to work on these things in my marriage. I told my wife yesterday that if I got caught up today, we were definitely going to spend some time together tonight and watch a movie or something.
Nice, Leo. We all need the reminder.
Glad the timing was good for your Leo!
Naturally I would add communication to the mix 😉 Not just any form of communication but I think intimate communication is key. Women want verbal intimacy. Twelve years ago when I was dating my now husband, he asked me “If i gave my heart to you, would you keep it safe?” I nearly melted. Knowing that he had never said those words to anyone but me was priceless!
Good point!
Great addition Julia!
Naturally I would add communication to the mix 😉 Not just any form of communication but I think intimate communication is key. Women want verbal intimacy. Twelve years ago when I was dating my now husband, he asked me “If i gave my heart to you, would you keep it safe?” I nearly melted. Knowing that he had never said those words to anyone but me was priceless!
Good point!
Great addition Julia!
I love the post Jackie. As a guy who is getting married just a month, I’m a sponge for anything and everything pro-marriage right now, especially from a biblical standpoint!
CONGRATS Daniel!!
I love the post Jackie. As a guy who is getting married just a month, I’m a sponge for anything and everything pro-marriage right now, especially from a biblical standpoint!
CONGRATS Daniel!!
I would add that the problem these days with marriage is not wanting to, appreciating it or not understanding the vows it is what happens when the wedding bells die down and the life long journey begins? Many couples these days marry for the wedding, the reception, the honeymoon and the honeymoon period! But once that is over usually 3 to 10 years a NORMAL human thing happens where the sex dies down or stops, you have heard all their stories, there is no more mystery to your partner, you start to grow emotionally detached and it goes down hill from there. If i was to ever marry i would have to talk to my partner DEEPLY about these inevitable things and make sure they will not jump ship once this happens! I do not see this as unromantic I see it as mature and responsible based on the seriousness of what marriage entails during or after your in it!