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Something I have been struggling with lately is finding the dividing line between my work and personal time. Over the last few months, I have far too often found myself working after 8:00PM on weeknights and spending 5-10 hours working on the weekends.
I feel like this is pretty normal for a lot of people. We put in 40+ hours during the week, and when the weekend hits we have got plenty to do, but we feel compelled to continue to put in hours towards our weekday job as if it will somehow get us to the top quicker.
We don’t allow any distinction between professional and personal. We don’t turn it off Friday at 5:00PM. It just kind of spills over because we aren’t intentional about how we use our time. We will structure our weeks to be as efficient and productive as possible, but when the weekend hits we don’t worry about a structure because it is time to relax. But, because we don’t build a structure into our weekend, our work finds a way to grab hold of us and suck us back in when we should be spending time recuperating.
God set a clear distinction when he finished his work creating the universe.
He rested. He set apart a chunk of time to rest from all the hard work, he had done. Why would so many of us feel that we don’t need to structure our time outside of work this way? To distinctly divide our personal time of rest from our time spent on or at work.
Right now I live alone, but in a month I will be married and living with my new wife. The habits I build right now are not magically going to disappear because she moves in with me. If I work late nights and weekends now, chances are I am going to take that habit into my marriage. I don’t know about you, but that immediately sets off a red flag for me.
In a month, I don’t want to be working at 8, 9, or even 10 o’clock. I don’t want to be working on Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings. I want to invest that time in my relationship with my wife, my friends, my family, and my community. I have 5 days during the week where I can put in 50 hours and I am positive that I could walk away on Friday, not touch anything until Monday morning and we wouldn’t have to close our doors. The business would be just fine without my night and weekend hours.
So I need to manage my time and lay a strong foundation now that divides my work life from my personal life. I will work between 7 and 5 or 6 every day of the week. But come closing time, I need to get out and stay out. I won’t be checking emails, or worrying about the projects that need to be finished, or anything else. Because my personal life takes priority. I love my job, but I love my future wife infinitely more.
I need to be intentional about clearly distinguishing my work and my personal life.
Chances are, we all do. There are too many children growing up being parented by a loving parent and an absent one that is out of the picture. More often than not, parents are missing physically and emotionally because they do not intentionally detach themselves from work. It ruins families. I am not going to let that happen. I am going to set the standard today and I will be intentional about it for the rest of my life.
I am going to start today and begin to draw the line in my life. When I am at work, I will be fully invested in my job. When I am at home, after work is over and on the weekends, I will be fully invested in my personal time.
Will you join me? You can leave your comment below.
Hi Daniel…this is something I think about all the time. I actually take four days off for a couple of reasons. I am a therapist, and I see up to 24 clients in three days. I’m exhausted after being “on” those days. After having had brain surgery, my energy level is not what it once was. But during the four days off, I am busy building my online business (rolling out soon). Many times I have “decided” to take a Sabbath (and make it holy), at least! Sundays will be my day to attend church and then not work. My problem is, my body and mind have now become somewhat addicted to it, and it is extremely hard for me to get into “lounging” mode. I get bored quickly. Got any ideas? ;o). Great post!
Linda, I’m with you. You know you should take a break but as entrepreneurs NOT working is especially hard. I find it takes my mind far longer to “get off work” than my body.
Hi there…I also have trouble sleeping. I can get to sleep easily, but wake often during the night thinking about all the wonderful things I can be doing. LOL
Me too! Why can’t I have all these wonderful ideas when i am sitting at my computer…something about the wee hours of the morning that inspires creativity I guess.
Last night in the middle of the night I actually grabbed my iPhone and typed something into the “Notes.”
Linda, thanks for reading and commenting!
I can’t imagine seeing that many clients in such a short span!
What is the number 1 most relaxing thing you can do at home? Take naps? Read books? Watch movies? Go for a walk outside? Spending time with close friends? I highly recommend isolating those one or two activities that relax you the most and pursue those when you feel the urge to work when you shouldn’t.
Thanks for reading!
Hi Linda, fancy seeing you here. #PlatformU
Hey look, I kind of have the same problem, I can’t stand to watch TV or do much of anything else less productive. There was a day though when that was the norm. I’m glad those days are behind me now. I’d say it’s not a bad problem to have. It’s better than being a couch potato.
Hi Leo! Glad to see you! ;o). Yep…I used to watch a lot of TV and haven’t had cable or satellite in quite a few years now…on purpose. We have a Roku, which makes any TV watching very deliberate. I’m glad those days are over too…
Hi Daniel…this is something I think about all the time. I actually take four days off for a couple of reasons. I am a therapist, and I see up to 24 clients in three days. I’m exhausted after being “on” those days. After having had brain surgery, my energy level is not what it once was. But during the four days off, I am busy building my online business (rolling out soon). Many times I have “decided” to take a Sabbath (and make it holy), at least! Sundays will be my day to attend church and then not work. My problem is, my body and mind have now become somewhat addicted to it, and it is extremely hard for me to get into “lounging” mode. I get bored quickly. Got any ideas? ;o). Great post!
Linda, I’m with you. You know you should take a break but as entrepreneurs NOT working is especially hard. I find it takes my mind far longer to “get off work” than my body.
Hi there…I also have trouble sleeping. I can get to sleep easily, but wake often during the night thinking about all the wonderful things I can be doing. LOL
Me too! Why can’t I have all these wonderful ideas when i am sitting at my computer…something about the wee hours of the morning that inspires creativity I guess.
Last night in the middle of the night I actually grabbed my iPhone and typed something into the “Notes.”
Linda, thanks for reading and commenting!
I can’t imagine seeing that many clients in such a short span!
What is the number 1 most relaxing thing you can do at home? Take naps? Read books? Watch movies? Go for a walk outside? Spending time with close friends? I highly recommend isolating those one or two activities that relax you the most and pursue those when you feel the urge to work when you shouldn’t.
Thanks for reading!
Hi Linda, fancy seeing you here. #PlatformU
Hey look, I kind of have the same problem, I can’t stand to watch TV or do much of anything else less productive. There was a day though when that was the norm. I’m glad those days are behind me now. I’d say it’s not a bad problem to have. It’s better than being a couch potato.
Hi Leo! Glad to see you! ;o). Yep…I used to watch a lot of TV and haven’t had cable or satellite in quite a few years now…on purpose. We have a Roku, which makes any TV watching very deliberate. I’m glad those days are over too…
Good morning Daniel,
I really like the post. It’s so important to draw the line, yet so difficult. We tend to wait a conflict at home or with ourselves to notice we need a change. I emphasize the emotionally detachment from work, since being present at home, does not necessarily mean that you are drawing the line.
I grew up to Father that worked like crazy. I’m the opposite: Maximize time, got to be really efficient and spend lots of time at home.
I think people need to remember the big picture: I have that popular image of the milky way with that tiny square that’s our solar system in the office. The Universe will not fall apart, neither be a better place if I keep staying working in the office. But my beloved ones could, so I shall leave right now:)
Thanks and have an awesome weekend.
Diego.
ps: Congrats on the marriage; Amazing step in your lives.
Diego! Thanks again for reading and commenting!
I love the illustration of the universe you mentioned! Glad to know that you emphasize family first!
Thanks for the congrats! I can’t wait! Have a great weekend too!
Good morning Daniel,
I really like the post. It’s so important to draw the line, yet so difficult. We tend to wait a conflict at home or with ourselves to notice we need a change. I emphasize the emotionally detachment from work, since being present at home, does not necessarily mean that you are drawing the line.
I grew up to Father that worked like crazy. I’m the opposite: Maximize time, got to be really efficient and spend lots of time at home.
I think people need to remember the big picture: I have that popular image of the milky way with that tiny square that’s our solar system in the office. The Universe will not fall apart, neither be a better place if I keep staying working in the office. But my beloved ones could, so I shall leave right now:)
Thanks and have an awesome weekend.
Diego.
ps: Congrats on the marriage; Amazing step in your lives.
Diego! Thanks again for reading and commenting!
I love the illustration of the universe you mentioned! Glad to know that you emphasize family first!
Thanks for the congrats! I can’t wait! Have a great weekend too!
Daniel you articulate a very present struggle for most of us! I applaud you for thinking of your future wife and her response to your long hours. I find as an entrepreneur you are almost expected to work long hours. While I understand that no one cares more about my business than I do, no one cares more or is willing to protect my mental health or my family’s well being than I am either. I want to be there for my kids first day of school and there to celebrate my husband’s big promotion. But unless I mentally clock out of work, I’ll marr these moments by wondering about work. Lord helps us to find that balance!
You hit the nail on the head!
Daniel you articulate a very present struggle for most of us! I applaud you for thinking of your future wife and her response to your long hours. I find as an entrepreneur you are almost expected to work long hours. While I understand that no one cares more about my business than I do, no one cares more or is willing to protect my mental health or my family’s well being than I am either. I want to be there for my kids first day of school and there to celebrate my husband’s big promotion. But unless I mentally clock out of work, I’ll marr these moments by wondering about work. Lord help us to find that balance!
You hit the nail on the head!
Yes I will, Daniel. Great post man.
Thanks Adam!
Yes I will, Daniel. Great post man.
Thanks Adam!
Interesting post, but I would say you can put 40 hours in and walk away. It’s not about time-management, but priorities and perspective.
I think it’s a little bit of all three. You need to have the right perspective on things to decide to reorder your priorities. When you’re reorder priorities, time management is generally a part of that. Deciding to focus on the right things at the right times and managing you time to have distinct boundaries is what was trying to get at here. Thanks for reading!
Interesting post, but I would say you can put 40 hours in and walk away. It’s not about time-management, but priorities and perspective.
I think it’s a little bit of all three. You need to have the right perspective on things to decide to reorder your priorities. When you’re reorder priorities, time management is generally a part of that. Deciding to focus on the right things at the right times and managing you time to have distinct boundaries is what was trying to get at here. Thanks for reading!