Valentine’s Day just passed, and I am sure over the weekend many of us did something for our spouse, or significant other to celebrate. This past weekend was probably all about your relationship.
I know we did. We sent our kids out of town to spend some time with their grandparents, so we could spend some time alone. In spite of some unexpected snowy weather here in Indiana we made sure to do something very special.
The same ole same ole
It wasn’t the typical dinner and a movie date. We really enjoyed our evening. But now Valentine’s day is over, and it can be easy to slip right back into “regular relationship” mode.
Regular relationship mode is that mode where it takes very little to cancel plans you have for a date, or just time alone. When Valentine’s Day, birthdays, or anniversaries come around we make special plans, special childcare arrangements, and even drive through special weather conditions (a snow storm in our case) to make sure it all happens.
Making it happen year-round
When regular relationship mode is happening, sometimes there isn’t any advance planning, childcare is an afterthought, or last minute at best, and the mere thought of cold weather can derail date night.
I don’t want you to drift back into that. I want you to do something special for your relationship on a regular basis. I hope to help take your relationship to another level all year-round. Below are some ways you can do that.
5 ways to take your relationship to another level
- Invest in your marriage. When we try to grow our bank accounts, or our businesses, we invest in them. That can cost money and time. In your relationship this can be done by reading relationship books together, taking the time to find good childcare and setting aside childcare funds if needed.
- Plan consistent one-on-one time together to do nothing. Taking your relationship to another level doesn’t have to involve a big event, or special date night. One of the best ways to grow your relationship is by having regular time to just talk, and be around each other. With three homeschooled kids, who all have busy schedules, my wife and I have realized we don’t get enough of this. We plan to change it by making it a priority to get an hour or two of time alone daily to just talk.
- Do something active together. Before this cold winter season hit this year, my wife and I were exercising together just about everyday. We enjoyed it, we were improving our health, and our relationship seemed to be at another level. Since we’ve stopped it seems we have had more disagreements, big and little riffs, that really seemed nonexistent during that time. I think it is time to go back to that.
- Get away for a day or two. One of the highs for us last year, was getting away to a weekend marriage retreat. If anything it was just good just to not have the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities we had each day. Then to spend it doing something intended to build our relationship took it to an entire new level. It truthfully felt like our dating years, when we both did the extra thing to make sure one another’s needs were met, and didn’t just focus on our own.
- Work toward a goal together. This year my wife and I have some major goals and projects we are working toward. One of the biggest projects we have is the launching a web show together, called The 7 Rings of Marriage web show. The web show was an idea we toyed with last year, but wasn’t sure what exactly we’d do until we created The 7 Rings of Marriage. Now we are full-go and the excitement of working on such a big project together is fun, and fueling a fire in our marriage. We’ve already done one interview and have many more planned before officially launching.
It is so easy to go back to regular relationship mode after a big event, or special day we have geared up for like Valentine’s Day. I encourage you to not let it happen, but to be intentional about taking your relationship to another level throughout the year.
Constant checking in and communication. That was the one thing we always struggled with early in our marriage, but counseling really taught us how to do this correctly. This helps us from hitting those lulls before they start.