- A. Smith Blog - Leadership in Life
I have been saying it wrong.
I’ve been saying, “Fear is a choice.”
Far more accurate, and more constructive to say, “I get to choose what I do when I am afraid.”
Fans of the novel Dune savor the Bene Gesserit litany against fear: [Read more…] about Using Fears to Generate Energy for Change
According to my mother, at age seven I announced that I was going to learn how to win every argument. In school I studied rhetoric, logic, psychology, and debate. I was the weird kid who enjoyed reading encyclopedia articles. I’m pretty good at winning arguments; better in my own mind, surely, than in the minds of the “losers”!
Some years back I realized I was winning the argument but killing dialogue, where everyone in the conversation could learn and discern. Dialogue, from the Greek origin dia-logos, is two-way exchange of meaning. I’d become brutally good at making statements and pseudo-listening only long enough to launch my next artillery blast. No learning. Only grim stories about how I put that person in their place, which I gleefully replayed any time I wanted to feel “superior.” It’s particularly bad if your self-image is that you’re the smartest, cleverest guy in the room.
An example from an early conversation with an acquaintance who is extremely concerned about our responsibility to protect the natural environment. On a long car ride together he waxed passionately on about his views. I interrupted his fast-talking flow after about 45 minutes and asked if I could summarize his points. “Sure,” he said. [Read more…] about Winning Arguments vs. Promoting Dialogue
A leadership opportunity is to look for the asymmetry of interests when there is a conflict of ideas or resources, or when entering into negotiations. We call this asymmetry because the interests are unequal. One side views it quite differently than another.
I interviewed a WW2 vet who was instrumental in the logistics of D-Day. He told me that people pitched in, sacrificed, and willingly followed the leaders because everyone was utterly convinced that the Nazi regime was an existential threat to western civilization. The US, Britain, Germany, Russia, and Japan all equally saw the need for ultimate effort – they had symmetrical views of the win/lose situation.
There were asymmetrical views in all the wars that the US has engaged in since WW2. The US didn’t consider Korea/China, North Vietnam, Saddam Hussein, or Al Qaeda as existential threats; they each perceived the US as existential threats. The US had many competing interests; these individual wars were just one part of global interests. The same was true for the British Empire during the American Revolution. This was a big issue for Britain, but an existential issue for the Americans fighting for liberty. The British Empire grew larger after 1800, even with the loss of the American colonies. [I know these conflicts were complex, but I want you to see the pattern.]
Consider how the political polarity on controversial issues like abortion, taxation, health care, and global warming/climate change is based on asymmetric views. The framing of why this XYZ is “a hill to die on” depends on making the alternative an existential issue. This is partly why it is so difficult to have constructive conversations in a safe zone between the poles.
Small organizations experience more existential threats than massive corporations. Small businesses often look at a potential customer interaction as an existential problem. They must make payroll this month! Lose this deal, and you could lose the company! It’s likely that big corporations are more vulnerable to disruption because they haven’t organized themselves around an existential viewpoint.
Once you’ve realized asymmetry exists, step back and consider how to use it to your advantage. There are three common patterns: [Read more…] about Generate Big Wins by Exploiting Asymmetric Interests
