Erik Tyler | October 22, 2015 | 4 Comments

How to Give an Apology (and Mean It)

Today’s COMMUNICATION Post – by Erik Tyler

A Check-up

I want to start by asking you to literally stop right now, reflect, and answer this question honestly:

When is the last time you gave a heartfelt apology?

Don’t count times you gave an apology because you wanted something in return, or because you wanted to avoid negative fallout. Pinpoint in your mind the last time you truly felt you had wronged someone.

You intentionally hurt someone.

You ran roughshod over them to assert yourself when things didn’t go your way.

You were rude or harsh with someone, or you took your frustration out on them when they were not to blame.

You did what was best for you, without considering how someone else felt or how your actions would affect them.

You talked negatively about someone, causing others to ridicule or mistrust them.

And you knew it. You knew you were in the wrong. But at some point afterward, you experienced real remorse. You just felt lousy about it – so much so that you went back and offered a sincere apology without a single excuse.

When was the last time? To whom did you apologize? Was it a family member? A friend? A co-worker or boss? A student? A server at a restaurant? A customer care or tech support person you were on the phone with?

If it was so long ago that the details are foggy – or if you can’t remember a specific time at all – ask yourself, What does that say about me? As far as I can see, there are only two things it could mean:

1. You are an anomaly. You are close to perfect and never blow it with other people, and therefore don’t really ever have the need to apologize.

2. You aren’t apologizing enough.

Erik Tyler | October 15, 2015 | 4 Comments

Words Can Be Sentences

Today’s COMMUNICATION Post – by Erik Tyler

Grammatically speaking, a sentence may consist of a single word:

Stop.

Duck!

Sing!

I separated those into separate lines to avoid the mental image that would come of combining them. Each of these sentences contains a verb, which we see, and an “invisible” (understood) subject — the audience to whom we are talking.

You’re fascinated, I’m sure. But that isn’t what I mean to talk about here. (And aren’t you glad?)

Now consider the following:

liar

pervert

lazy

ignorant

problem

selfish

These words are also sentences. They are not grammatical sentences, but rather sentences handed down in the courtrooms of the heart. They are issued by a judge to a party presumed guilty, scarlet letters with which we intentionally — or unintentionally — brand people. Sometimes for life.

Erik Tyler | October 8, 2015 | 4 Comments

Jailbreak (FROM) Your Phone

Today’s COMMUNICATION post – by Erik Tyler

You’re in a meeting and, once again, you feel the all-too-familiar :: buzz-buzz :: of your phone in your pocket. You’re not really paying attention to whomever is speaking, and it’s not entirely due to the fact that the presenter is as dry as last month’s bread.

You leave said meeting and look down at your phone: 8 new calls and voicemails, 11 text messages. That’s all not to mention new incoming e-mails.

You take a deep breath. It just never seems to end. And to make it worse, as you look down your list of new voicemails, you see that three of them are from people who are notorious for saying things during conversations like “So, anyway, to make a long story short…” after what should only have taken one minute to say has already taken twenty. One actually left a message that went too long, then called back to continue the message, starting in with, “Sorry, I got cut off there, but as I was saying …,” apparently oblivious to the fact that your phone’s recording limit per message is a full five minutes.

:: buzz-buzz ::

Make that 12 new text messages. It’s the guy who just left the two long voice messages, texting to make sure you got the messages and reminding you to call him back, because “it’s urgent.” It always is with him.

You check your e-mail. One is from a new client: “Give me a ring. I want to talk about possibly getting [insert some miniscule number] of your products and I’m just too busy to check your website: (555) 123-4567.” There goes another hour of your time, which may or may not end in a sale that, at best, will turn a profit of a few bucks.