Giveaway: Beyond Ordinary – A Post on Avoidance


[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”raised” width=”565px” height=”” background_color=”#c5c5c5″ border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]A big part of what we talk about here on is relationships, and what relationship is more important than with your spouse? At some point along the way through that specific relationship or another, we have been faced with thinking that avoidance is the easiest way out. Well, we are fortunate enough to have Justin and Trisha Davis here today to share some of their thoughts on what avoidance actually does and challenges us to take a deep look at ourselves.[/dropshadowbox]


Avoidance is like a drug. It convinces you that a little bit won’t hurt you, and by trying it you will feel better. But avoidance is addictive and it’s seductive. It makes you feel like the issues and the problems and the sins that you have aren’t as bad or as toxic or as lethal as they really are.

Avoidance is my drug of choice. It is my coping mechanism. Avoidance allows me to believe that if I ignore a problem long enough, if I pretend a sin doesn’t exist long enough, if I disregard my dysfunction long enough it will magically fix itself, or at minimum just go away.  Avoidance convinces me that it can buy me more time and allow me to manage my image as I casually pursue repentance. Avoidance helps me be more sorry for the consequences of my actions than my actions themselves.

When you embrace avoidance too long, something dangerous happens. The distinct, clear voice of God that you once heard begins to soften. The promptings from the Holy Spirit that guide you and convict you and give you wisdom and discernment aren’t as frequent. At some point, they disappear all together. Funny thing about avoidance…eventually the jig is up, and you’re face to face with consequences:

Avoiding admitting my marital problems left me separated from my wife and kids

Avoiding honoring God with my finances left me in a pile of debt

Avoiding paying the price to be a good friend left me with fractured relationships

Avoiding confessing sin patterns  left me with a mountain of regrets

Here’s what I’ve come to realize about living in avoidance…God never shows up when we pretend we have it more together than we really do. God rarely moves when we ignore His promptings. God seldom blesses our decision to avoid reality and just hope it goes away.

God’s power and his presence are unleashed most when we face the very things we are trying to avoid. God’s forgiveness and grace are experienced at their deepest levels when we stop pretending like we aren’t struggling or sinning or broken, but we confess our brokenness to a God that longs to heal us.

[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”raised” width=”565px” height=”” background_color=”#c5c5c5″ border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]This post on avoidance shows us just a glimpse into things they both learned through their journey. Their story of redemption and triumph is not only a fantastic read, it is inspiring for everyone, no matter where you are at in life.[/dropshadowbox]



And today you have a chance of winning one of three free copies through twitter, facebook or here on the blog. Here’s how:

1) Share this on twitter: “Read #beyondordinary by @justindavis33 & @trishadavis23 & make your marriage stronger. Win a copy here:

2) Share this on Facebook: “Read Beyond Ordinary and make your marriage stronger. Win a copy here: ”

3) Leave a comment here, telling us why you want this book. (Or if you don’t know why, that’s ok too.)

The more you share it, the more times you are entered to win. Easy enough, right?

This giveaway ends on Friday, January 11th at 8pm eastern time. The randomly chosen winners will be announced at 8:30pm on that same night.

To read more of their story, pick up #beyondordinary at any of these online retailers:


Barnes & Noble


pic_full_davis_justin_trishaJustin and Trisha Davis know all too well the dangers of settling for an ordinary marriage. Their own failure to recognize the warning signs almost resulted in the end of their marriage, their family, and their ministry. Justin and Trisha are bloggers, authors, speakers and founders of RefineUs Ministries. Sharing their story of pain, loss and redemption, RefineUs is igniting a movement to build healthy marriages and families. They are the co-authors of their first book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough, published by Tyndale House Publishers. The Davises are bloggers and teachers who make their home in Nashville, TN with their three boys.  You can follow their story on Facebook and you can also find both Justin and Trisha on twitter.

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  1. Franklin says

    I would love a book! I am not married, but will be in a year and a half. My girl and I both struggle with avoidance a bit and are looking for resources to address this. This post was inspirational and the rest of your blog is quite the same.

  2. Allison says

    Would love to win this so my husband and i can read AND learn from it and share with others! Hoping to start a resource library at church.

  3. says

    What an amazing testimony! I’m in full-time ministry myself and I’m always looking for new resources to continue to strengthen my marriage. My husband and I also lead marriage small groups, teach relationship-building, and do couples counseling…we’d love to add this to our resource library. Praise God for Justin and Trisha’s willingness to be open and vulnerable and allow God to use their story!

  4. says

    I just heard this on Janet Parshall’s program. From what I heard from the author’s I am extremely eager to learn from this wisdom and experience from their lives and what God has brought about and allowed. I would be very honored to be able to win a copy of the book for my wife and I to grow and learn together.

  5. says

    As the child of divorced parents I’m a firm believer in doing whatever it takes to make a marriage that will last a lifetime…I’d like to win this book because I think it would help me and my relatively new husband with some of our difficulties. Thanks for the giveaway!

  6. Robin Padanyi says

    Adam thanks for being so honest about the rough parts of your own marriage. When I read about how you used avoidance to cope, I could see myself in that same pattern. It’s like what Jesus says to Nicodemus in John 3:19-20 “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.”

    I had the chance to read an excerpt of “Beyond Ordinary” where Justin and Trisha talked about training for the last 3 miles of marriage instead of the first 3. Well, my wife and I are in that first 3 right now. There’s been joy and challenge, laughter and lots of tears. But I want to live forward, for those last 3 miles. I want to be a devoted husband, giving my wife new reasons to praise the Lord every day. I want to lead, serve, pursue, pray for and love my wife with every ounce of strength God gives me.

    So I think the main reason I’m looking forward to reading “Beyond Ordinary” wife my wife, is I don’t want to drift through life, get to the end and realize that we could’ve had a marriage that was deeper and far more intentional.

    May God use this book to bring praise to Him through marriages that inspired to be anything but ordinary.